Doctor or *.doc-tour? WTF!?
...you know what? An evil doctor can sodomize you real bad and totally knock you sideways while throwing peanuts in the wrong direction. Nobody really knows what a doctor is supposed to do! It is commonly known that the early forms of the working procedure were done by hobbits like Bungo Hardbattle and Dample Hardbattle but also Cumellia Dünderfluff von Willowbottom.
Doctor is also the original name of Doctor Who before he left his band, Mogwai and instantly became known by this new surname, due to the law "If someone leaves a mainstream band, regardless of what they do in future, their surname is henceforth "Who?"" as implemented by Isaac Newton.