ESRB
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The ESRB (short for Entertainment Software Rating Board in English, and Endangered Sock-Eating Restrictive Byotchfaces in Illogish) is a company that spends their days putting letters on box art so you don't accidentally buy a sex game for your little kiddies.
Lazy[edit | edit source]
Rating Pending (RP)[edit | edit source]
The game is barely out yet. Fack off.
Commom[edit | edit source]
Everyone (E)[edit | edit source]
You're allowed to play this game.
Everyone 10 and up (E10+)[edit | edit source]
If you're less than 10 years old, you might not wanna play this game.
Teen (T)[edit | edit source]
If you're less than 13 years old, you might not wanna play this game.
Mature (M)[edit | edit source]
If you're less than 17 years old, you might not wanna play this game.
Uncommon[edit | edit source]
Early Childhood (EC)[edit | edit source]
This game was made for little BABIES.
Adults Only (AO)[edit | edit source]
Exactly what it says on the tin. Games with this rating usually contains a lot of pornographic content, and stores may not sell them. Of course, Wikipedia has an article listing them all.
Rare[edit | edit source]
Teen-Mature (T-M)[edit | edit source]
If you are less than 15 or 16 years old, you might not wanna play this game.
Sexy (SX)[edit | edit source]
The ESRB blew their load just looking at this game.
An alternate form of Adults Only.
Everyone 37 and up (E37+)[edit | edit source]
If you are less than 37 years old, play something else.
Banned (X)[edit | edit source]
NOPE, CAN'T PLAY IT.
& Knuckles (K)[edit | edit source]
Used for games with Knuckles in them.
Shrek (SH)[edit | edit source]
IT'S NEVER OGRE.
Legendary[edit | edit source]
Perfect (Perfect)[edit | edit source]
The game is so amazing that everyone should play it. An age rating would suggest otherwise, and therefore, a Perfect rating is used instead.
No-one (NO)[edit | edit source]
The game is so excruciatingly horrible that no one should ever play it.
()[edit | edit source]
The game is so terrifying that the ESRB didn't bother with a rating: they wanted the game away from them as soon as possible.
Fancy (F)[edit | edit source]
Currently only ever used to rate Fancy Pants Adventures.
Go play Fancy Pants Adventures.
It's a good game.
Sammy Lightfoot (SL)[edit | edit source]
Currently only ever used to rate Sammy Lightfoot.
Anyone remember Sammy Lightfoot?
Anyone at all?
...me neither.