Expert
“Pieces sold separately. Experts not included.”
An expert is generally the person you consult when requesting the retrieval of a rare species of snake from your bathroom sink. Their expert-like rubber glove kit is essential in the removal of such trivial things from one's home; in other words, they simply like to bring them along to make balloons for any children that may or may not be present, and charge extra for it. Experts also tend to bring their hot dog stands to the scene of the crime and try to make a few extra bucks selling people lunch. It's really quite a business.
Famous Quotes from Experts[edit | edit source]
“I'm not really an expert. I just have a name tag labeled "Expert". I love the government.”
“In my expert opinion, this article sucks.”
Jim Arbeiter, Expert Marksman and Storyteller[edit | edit source]
“I hold the rank of expert in many fields, including toilet seat inspection!”
“This quote was written by someone else, and I am using my expert reading skill so say it.”
“Expert rank has brought me many naked women. Just kidding.”