Girl Scouts

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For those who can't handle the real truth, the spinners of fake truth at Wikipedia have a thoroughly boring article on Girl Scouts.

“Girl Scouts are such wimps. Hey guys, let's go bear wrestling!”

~ A Boy Scout on the following article

Girl Scout 1: Oh my God, are we actually supposed to sleep in this tent? Like, what if a bug crawls in here while we're sleeping?!

Girl Scout 2: Yeah, and it might be, like, hot or something! And the humidity will curl our hair!

Girl Scout 1: (To leader) You can't be serious! I thought we were sleeping inside! You know, like with air conditioning and hairdryers and showers and stuff!

Leader: Sorry girls, but the Ritz was booked up.

Girl Scout 3: (Pulls up in black stretch limo and steps out, sees the tent) Oh my gosh! We're actually sleeping in that?!? But I brought like, my whole wardrobe! There isn't room in that dinky thing!

Leader: Girls, girls, calm down. I might be able to find us a room in the hotel we passed on the way here.

Girl Scout 3: But it's a four star! We'll die!

Girl Scout 2: Beats the heck out of sleeping in that tent thingy.

Leader: You're right girls, I don't know what I was thinking! Making you rough it like this. Why don't we just get back in the limo and go home?

Girl Scouts 1, 2, and 3: Yay!

About the Above Conversation…[edit | edit source]

It just makes you sick, doesn't it? And what if I told you that those scouts were eight years old? Unfortunately, this is what happens every time some idiotic but well-meaning leader suggests that the girls go camping in a tent instead of a hotel.

It wasn't always like this…[edit | edit source]

The Girl Scouts weren't always spoiled wimps. They used to be smart, athletic, well-rounded girls who loved camping, despite the threats to their hair and clothes. Then, girls discovered makeup and fashion and decided that being a girl scout was "uncool". But instead of ending the Girl Scouts when this started happening, it kept going. Some girls' parents wouldn't let them leave the girl scouts. Thus, the girl scouts turned into the girly, pathetic, miserable… well, you get the point -- organization that it is today.

No Hope[edit | edit source]

It is unlikely that any of these girls will ever have a chance in life. They'll be dumb slaves to fashion for the rest of their lives. And there is nothing you can do to help them. Get over it.

See Also…[edit | edit source]