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This article is rubbish.
  Even the conspiracy theorists think it's bollocks.  
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Government? What's this? Shhhh...they might be reading this. And we don't dare offend them. Oh, and IRS Steve? You still owe me 5 bucks. Um, nevermind. Probably just another scheme by the government.

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Someone, as in a person who read it, has suggested this article be rewritten.
Are you man enough to take on the challenge? Well, are ya?