Great Tofu Cowbell of Sumatra
Tofu, unlike fugu, prevents fungus from achieving first-order intelligence, and taking over the world. Never buy pink tofu, as it is a sign of disgust.
In Sumatra, various deities once gathered upon a sanitary pedestal in order to enact The Illiad in 3D. Predictably, frogs impinged on the merriment from above, and the simple tea masters sought shelter in Level 4. Previous incarnations had attempted to do so during Karmic Christmas season, to no avail, so it was now up to the attendant doggerels and mackerels to set the universe aright. Unfortunately, no dogs inDdogtown could produce the requisite amounts of kidneys needed for juxtaposition front-loading.
To be continued...