IllogiZoo:Hexicorn

The Hexacorn is a quadrupedal mammal related to the giraffe.

Hexacorn
Do not be fooled. The hexicorn is deadly.
Conservation Status
Near Threatened
Kingdom	Animalia
Phylum	Chordata
Class	Mammalia
Order	Artiodactyla
Family	Giraffidae
Genus	Pyrocornus (J. Mile, 2009)
Species	P. Hexacornii
Binomial Name
Pyrocornus Hexacornii (J. Mile, 2009)

Physical Characteristics

Another animal famous for living in the Savanna Crescent Dyke is the hexicorn. It's like a unicorn, except it has 15 horns. Each of it's horns serves a separate and magical purpose. For instance there is a horn that points straight up, so the hexicorn can always find out which way up is. They cannot fly, so this isn't very useful.

Another one of a hexicorn's horns is a chocolate milk dispenser. Hexicorns do not like chocolate milk because it is poisonous to their systems and they will die immediately should they consume it. Scientists are still debating this horns purpose.

Hexicorns also have a horn that acts much like a flame thrower. However, this horn is mounted on the inside of its skull, where the brain would normally be. Should a hexicorn ever decide to invoke this horns powers, it's head explodes. They do this constantly because the life of a hexicorn is eternal suffering and they desire nothing but death.

Hexicorns explode when they die and are immediately reincarnated as another hexicorn.

Genetic Abnormalities

A hexicorn getting killed because it is retarded, got scared, and used it's flamethrower horn during the Vietnam war. Note the yellow teeth, hexicorns are known to have poor dental hygiene.

There is a genetic flaw in about 50% of the hexicorn population in which the flame thrower horn grows straight out of the horses face rather than in the brain cavity. These hexicorns never live very long because when they use the horn, it propels them backwards like a rocket. They fly around like a balloon deflating at close to the speed of sound with absolutely no control whatsoever of where they are going. This lasts until they slam into something, evaporate from the force and explode.
Oh hey, a turtle.

NASA Research

NASA attempted to use these "flawed" hexicorns to launch satellites to space. However, they found that in the vacuum of space, the hexicorn would suffocate and explode, destroying any cargo that was brought with it.

It is currently believed that there are at least 450 Hexicorns in orbit around the Earth from these NASA experiments. They are constantly suffocating, exploding and reincarnating. God has shown them no mercy.

Dangers To People

It is recommended that should you ever see a hexicorn in the wild, you get as far away from it as possible. Also, do not gaze upon a Hexicorn as this may trigger fear in the hexicorn. The hexicorns primary defense is to explode.

Reproduction

This is a view of the Savanna Crescent Dyke taking during the hexicorn mating season.
Notice the Hexicorn mothership above the signal flare.

Hexicorns change color ever second of every day, except during the mating season. During the mating season, they are transparent. This makes mating difficult as they cant find each other. They also emit random bursts of gamma radiation powerful enough to vaporize anything within 100 miles. This is why the Savanna Crescent Dyke is a barren wasteland. The hexicorn also has no sense of smell since there are horns coming out of their nostrils.

Unlike their horse relatives, hexicorns have what appears to be 5 legs. 3 in the front, and two in the back. However, the middle front leg is actually a giant, highly evolved claw used in the mating ritual. Should a hexicorn somehow actually find another hexicorn during the mating season, the claw is used to latch on to the head of it's mate, and crush it to death, while the mating hexicorn is impaled with his mates up claw and they both explode, which completely defeats the purpose of mating so they try to avoid it.

Diet

Hexicorn's are a carnivorous member of the horse family. They also have rainbow laser eyes that they use to hunt their prey. They have a very specific diet and only eat Lucky Charms. When a hexicorn sees a Lucky Charm, it will focus his laser eyes onto it and immediately discharge it's flame thrower horn, thus exploding the hexicorns head which immediately falls over dead and detonates and is reincarnated as another hexicorn.

Economic Value

hexicorn's are not very useful to mankind. There is not much use in hunting them because as soon as they die, they explode and another hexicorn reincarnates in it's place. Rather than hunt them, mankind kills them for sport as seeing a hexicorn explode and reappear is comical. Man has developed several machines that can kill a hexicorn, and then kill it again as soon as it reappears.

I'm A Super Hero

I'm a superhero and my cape has a giant hexicorn drawn on it. I use hexicorns as weapons to battle evil.

One time, I put a Hexicorn in a tiny steel box and shot it in the face and slammed the door shut. It died, exploded, and reincarnated as another Hexicorn standing in the previous hexicorn's remains. The explosion used up all of the oxygen in the box so the hexicorn suffocated, exploded, and reincarnated as a third hexicorn standing in the wastes of the previous two hexicorns. Then he suffocated. This continued for about a week with the density of hexicorn remains ever increasing inside the box.

Eventually, the density within the box exceeded 4 solar masses. This surpassed the Tolman-Oppenheimer-Volkoff limit and the degeneracy pressure of neutrons was insufficient to prevent collapse so it formed a black hole and destroyed the universe.

I'm sorry I destroyed the universe :(