Hoboistus
“I've seen many diseases in my day, and, um, Hoboistus is one of the worst.”
Hoboistus is when the person loses all his money, grows a big beard, writes on signs saying he has no money and says "God bless you".
People who have this illness are referred to as hobos or the homeless.
This illness is cured by giving the infected around $250.
Contrary to popular belief, food does not do anything to help those suffering from Hoboistus.
In fact, making comments about how the infected will just "spend the money on booze" actually makes the disease worse, and sickens the victim.
The healing properties of large amounts of money are not fully understood, but they totally do exist.
Really, the more money you give an infected person, the more cured they will become.
PS. this article was not written by a homeless person.