HowTo:Create realistic faces with a 3D modelling application

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That's just boring. It's also not even that good.

3D modelling is a very complicated affair, requiring a staggering amount of time and patience and precision, and creating realistic models is perhaps even more cumbersome. Fortunately, through the use of the many tutorials and walkthroughs and guides, even the most inexperienced of users can get right to work creating masterpieces.

Most of them are overly verbose piles of excess; ignore them. To create a realistic face, just do the following:

  1. Create some sort of object, probably a sphere or cube or something, out of your favourite kind of surface dealy, or whatever the application prefers.
  2. Add sufficient geometry/control points/whatever to make it face-shaped, if it's a program that requires that sort of thing.
  3. Add hideous unsightly blemishes and freakish scars. (hey, you said you wanted realistic)
  4. Make it face-shaped.

But that's boring. Much more interesting is to make it not face-shaped in the slightest, especially if your employer actually was expecting something face-shaped[1] and make it, say, squirrel-shaped or squid-shaped or maybe even quite face-shaped aside from the minor detail in which it's covered in suction cups or has the wrong number of what may or may not be noses... granted, that later sort of thing only really works if everything else is absolutely impeccable[2]. Get your face shapes right if you're going to mess them up, else folks'll just think you're incompetent.

Although they'll probably think you are incompetent anyway, if you do that sort of thing. Just not necessarily the same sort of incompetent.


You know you're doing it right when they don't fire you and instead make you see a shrink.


  1. If, however, they actually were expecting a soap-dispenser-shaped face, then perhaps making it face-shaped might not be so bad of an idea, after all.
  2. Or if it's one model like this out of, say, ten models that are indeed impeccable. Need to mess with folks minds, you know?