HowTo:Speak the Lingo
Hey there, Don't speak the lingo, want to speak the lingo? We know that you have many reasons for learning the lingo. You want to impress your young, impressional friend into thinking that you're the coolest, you want to impress your young, impressional girl into thinking that you're cool. You want to impress all of Illogicopedia that you're cool. We have a lot of reasons on why you would want to learn the lingo. Mostly all of them having to do with the aspect of cool. Well come on, don't you want to be cool, don't you want to learn the lingo? Read the guide below now!
Speaking the Lingo
First of you need to know some important phrases you need to say. Like so.
- Èle - Apparently it means Hi.
- Wœųt - I don't know what it exactly means, but I'm sure it says what.
- Tæsēk - Whatever... it means.
- Ẻçlÿgủąǵhẅëþð - You get no cognates.
- Ćeásêk - A formal invitation for Sex I suppose.
- Esíekí - A formal word for him/her/whatever. I don't know who defines it though, and I won't bother looking because I have insufficient funds.
- Ĩntéļav - Hey baby, wanna travel somewhere.
- Ṕäǹĕń - Would you like some bread?
- Ønçusĳ - In my many days of research, I have not figured out what this means.
Now that you know the basic lingo, you need to know the advanced lingo that is guaranteed to get you laid, or your money back. No seriously, just follow the basic translation guide that'll help you what these exclusive lingo phrases mean.
- Ønçusĳ èsè œŕŕű Ÿĩurrės. Tæsēk ƍšeeli neđērę klèiène?
- Hi, may I.... Date you... With... ?????
- Ľienšeš ês şœses āćssês.
- Mind If I do store?
- Āghjyvjyźzǎṕçȧ ȧšïǹǵẁĩdĭźiẗḧővḧẃōĺnůnũ-hūıpjỉšǵli ghẅŏgǵẹgh ęĺjỏ-fŭźfŕẹszụkẅöqązųdõḧīṕ ǹẁėsǎǹ!
- No, I do not accept your Ćeásêk.
- Úsésăs no pāýný? Ącëíąz eìs úîîön æíòn Í×êêï üaaëi ąû ćănăiz.
- Zā ƥypơ ḧęȷỏ tódẑöẋìŀáš říðųṡ ḱåhġŭṽḧǖjıḣ sŏɗẹ.
- Got milk?
- Ćeásêk, ìsèèk ñòàkke íððeün ćëdeąurs ąyýuien. Esíeki, ëünneüt ceásêk áþet íąññe ìente ûýate ëooëd?'
- Honestly, I have no Idea what this says. I was making this up all along.
Congratulations, you now know the lingo. You are now cool by everyone. Now go forth and get laid, god I need a drink, anyone have a Martini.