How to kill yourself
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DON'T
How to kill yourself[edit | edit source]
OK, so before you kill yourself, you need to make sure that you really do want to do so. This may be because someone has dumped you, because you had an argument with the person answering for the Samaritan, or just to confuse the heck out of people. However, whatever your reason, make sure that you write some sort of a letter. This may contain the following:
- An explanation why you committed suicide.
- Permission for your lover to perform acts of necrophilia on you
- An accusation to someone you don't like for murdering you.
- And, of course, where your car keys are (optional)
Methods of Killing[edit | edit source]
Now, as with any murder, you have to plan how to kill yourself, as you do not want to be caught buy the police afterwards, as it is still illegal.
- Poison is an easy way to go. White arsenic is rather untraceable, and you can get it at your local spar (it is called a sherbet dip dabs)
- by reading How to shave.
- by biting a zombie.
- and by any method that presents itself to you as amusing.
Unfortunately, I can not certify how effective certain ways to die, as I have only died once, and that was by reading How to shave.