How to shave

How to shave[edit | edit source]

First, grow a beard. (This can be a little difficult if you are a girl, child of hermaphrodite)
Then, get some sort of sharp object. It is important to select the correct tool for you. I used a scythe, which is probably why I accidently chopped my head off. OUCH
When you have selected your sharp object, rub it therapeutically across your throat until the blood begins to seep through your chin. Don't worry when this happens, as it is perfectly normal. Or at least, it happened when I did it.
And - oh, yeah - don't forget to have some plasters at the ready. I used modesty plasters, which is why I am now dead.
If you are still alive at this point, give yourself a huge pat on the head - but not too hard, in case your head falls off.