I'm coming for you

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

I'm coming for you! I don't care if it takes all month; if I have to drive halfway across the solar system then so be it. If I'm out of rope, I'll make some. If I lose my passport I can get a new one because I've been law abiding, oh yes. If I need a million dollars I'll steal a skyscraper. I'm telling you, you don't know what you're dealing with. Your entire life up to this point was naught but part of a cunning plan of mine to lull you into a false sense of security, and then I pounce!

And then you'll regret doing whatever you did. Mark every syllable of my words: I will find you, and when I do you'll wish I'd found you the previous day so whatever I'm planning to do to you would be over with! (Options currently on the table include smacking with a wet noodle and reciting the bananaphone song for over 8 hours.) By the time I'm finished, you'll be begging me for more because your mind will be so depraved and reversed that black will be white, up will be down, Tuesday will be... Tuesday.

Ha! I swear, when I get my hands on you, there is nothing, nothing, an earthworm can do to stop me. I am invincible, inviolate, inviolent, in-violet. I have no weaknesses.... Come to think of it, I do have a weakness in my eleventeenth toe. So as long as I don't stub my toe, and nothing else does, you're live Bowie, boyo!