IRC

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  This article is quoted from a chatroom somewhere. 
<IRC>


<SilentPenguin>   well, now your here, whos party are you 
                  going to join?
<Slinking_Ferret> PArty you say? Where?
<Asema>           Give me a moment.
<SilentPenguin>   The Strangled Cat Party (mine), Party42 
                  (No  prizes for whos that is) or hindleyites 
                  yet to be named party
<Asema>           Alright.. Let's see..
<Slinking_Ferret> Hmm strangly the ferrets 
                  arch foe in  sadistic ways you say?
<SilentPenguin>   party42 stands for 2having a laugh
<Asema>           I think... I'll join Hindleyite's party.
<SilentPenguin>   ok
<SilentPenguin>   that means fluffy falls into mine
<SilentPenguin>   and MrMetalFlower is with Nerd42
<Asema>           Very well.
<Flameviper>      I get my own party
<Asema>           Are you sure?
<SilentPenguin>   what?
<Asema>           According to MY contract, anything you 
                  own becomes mine, Flameviper.
<Flameviper>      The Crystal Flames
<SilentPenguin>   heh
<Flameviper>      Asema: I haven't used my daily Hadoken
<Asema>           Including anything you hear, break, buy, see, or run.
<Flameviper>      SO ATUFF YOU
<Asema>           I have unlimited Hadokens.
<Flameviper>      *STUFF YOU
<Flameviper>      I have your face on this stick
<Asema>           I have your face on a much bigger stick.
<SilentPenguin>   O_O
* Flameviper      holds up a stick with Asema's face tied to it
* Asema           holds up the bigger stick with Flameviper's 
                  face tied to   it
<Flameviper>      NOT TO TOUGH NOW, WITH YOUR EYES FALLIN OUR OF  
                  THE ORBITS~
<Slinking_Ferret> Giant beam of pure plasma destroying  everything
                  in it's path with blood curdling screams you say?
<Asema>           Yes!
<Asema>           In fact[citration needed], it's something I like to call...
<Asema>           *grabs Ferret*
<Asema>           FERRETDOKEN!
* Flameviper      throws fire ants onto Asema's raw facial tissue,
                  which lacks any skin to keep the ants out of the 
                  fragile tissue
* Asema           uses Ferretdoken whilst throwing
* Asema           a member of the evil council at Flameviper
* Flameviper      eats Asema whole
* Asema           prepares a swordy nuke
<Flameviper>      Silly bitch, your weapons cannot harm me!
* Asema           and sends out the SwordJets
* Flameviper      is impervious to swords
<Asema>           You try to rock me on the dais, but your German isn't  good enough.
<Flameviper>      The only thing that can beat me...
* Asema           is impervious to Chuck Norris
<Flameviper>      is a Level 9 Mongoose who can cast Ice-9
* Asema           as well as acid, charm, fire and Magic Missile
<Flameviper>      And CHuck Norris
<Asema>           Okay then.
<Asema>           CHUCKDOKEN!
<Asema>	The only thing that can beat me..
<Asema>	Is the fabled UNIX command, fsck!
	<SilentPenguin>	:S
	<Asema>	It's like Format C.
	<Asema>	And filesystem check.
	<Asema>	In one.
	<Flameviper>	 http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3934651591022114445
	<Flameviper>	I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!
	* Slinking_Ferret	sighs and casts finite destruction on  Asema
	<Asema>	Remember, it takes you 6 rounds to cast that.
	<Asema>	So I can get on a jet to Cuba in that time.
	<SilentPenguin>	 http://illogicopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Illogicopedia:Polictical_Parties
	<Asema>	I saw.
	<Slinking_Ferret>	I have been preparing it for the last 5   rounds though
	<Flameviper>	 http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3934651591022114445
	<Asema>	But I still have fire immunity, and that means 10  minutes of protection.
	<Asema>	And yes, FLAMEViper, my character has fireproofing. Ha!
	* Slinking_Ferret	likes the Strangeled cat parties Icon
	<Slinking_Ferret>	HE does
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Great weakness to ice though
	<Slinking_Ferret>	And he can't cast spells worth shit.
	<Asema>	Only %50 more.
	<Asema>	And you can't attack worth shit.
	<Nerd42>	ok bye
	|<--	Nerd42 has left irc.freenode.net ("CGI:IRC 0.5.7  (2005/06/19)")
	* Slinking_Ferret	attacks Asema with meteor swarm
	<Asema>	Ow, but not death.
	<Asema>	I cast... The Secret 1337 Uber-Art of Dual Classers!@
	* Slinking_Ferret	casts Magic missle (6)
	<Asema>	I deal damage equal to your maximum HP.
	<SilentPenguin>	fires Pwn missiles
	<Asema>	You fire pwn missiles at me, but I remain unpwned  (miss).
	<Asema>	You can only cause a miss three times, for now,.
	<Asema>	I run up to you (due to 2 moves and 1 standard action)  and attack you for 57 HP.
	* Slinking_Ferret	uses summon Succubus on Asema
	<Asema>	I think you might be feeling a little heavy. So, using  my once per battle free action, I summon a Law Ninja.
	* Slinking_Ferret	covers his eyes
	<Asema>	This ninja steals your most powerful spellbook.
	<Asema>	I ignore the succubus.
	<Asema>	However, she still drains my mana.
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Pfft I also have Psionic matter shaping
	<Asema>	You're not a psionicist.
	<Asema>	Wait.. You're a dual-classer?
	<Flameviper>	I am a judge
	<Asema>	So this is probably fair game!
	* Slinking_Ferret	makes Asema's breain turn into  pudding... No effect....
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Pretty much/
	<MathPoet>	bye for now.
	<Asema>	I use Pimp Slap.
	<Asema>	You take damage equal to the amount of spell components  you are holding.
	<Asema>	OH SHI-- *explosion*
	<Slinking_Ferret>	I use eXtreme ray of something
	<Flameviper>	 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_Tactics_Advance#Laws
	<Asema>	Well, no, you're not a judge.
	<Asema>	This is a lawless zone.
	=-=	MathPoet is now known as MathPoetAway
	<Flameviper>	I'm a judge, bitch.
	<Flameviper>	I'm God.
	<Asema>	No, you're not.
	<Asema>	This is a LAWLESS zoner, bitch.
	<Asema>	I summon a fierce ninja snowman, to do my bidding!
	<Flameviper>	...invincible chocobo-riding arbitrator   characters present at each battle...
	<Asema>	He karate chops you with his stick arms, dealing 50  damage.
	<Asema>	Not invincible in a lawless zone.
	<Flameviper>	I summon the JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!
	<Asema>	This is somewhat like a Jagd.
	<Asema>	Get it? NO JUDGE, BITCH.
	<Flameviper>	If I were a Pokemon, I'd be Fire/Steel
	<Asema>	So, if I may..
	<Flameviper>	I summon prison rape! It does 50 damage to your  ass
	<Flameviper>	hole
	<Asema>	I will cast Force Food!~
	<Asema>	Flameviper eats Diced Goatse, and is Uber Poisoned,  mortified, and takes 150 damage;.
	<Flameviper>	Wait... How much HP do we initially have each,  and who's counting?
	<Asema>	Me.
	<Asema>	We all have:
	<Asema>	Flameviper: 600.
	<Asema>	Me: 380.
	<Asema>	Ferret: 220 (Defenseless mage.)
	<Asema>	However..
	<Asema>	I cast Ice-9!
	<Asema>	Flameviper takes 450 damage.
	<Flameviper>	I combine two awful sites to create Tubspin,  which deals 50 damage and forces you to break your computer
	<Asema>	Damn it.
	<Flameviper>	That, and you're covered in feces
 	<Asema>	I use my RAM to slice you open. You take 200 damage.
	<Flameviper>	:)
	<Slinking_Ferret>	I cast the AOL Virus on you
	<Flameviper>	I slap you around a bit with a large trout! HAH!
	<Flameviper>	Doing 30 water damage
	<Asema>	I deal Pointy Fries to Flameviper, causing him to go  into Disabled.
	<Asema>	He can no longer attack.
	<Asema>	The AOL Virus infects Flameviper, because I am  diseaseproof as well.
	<Flameviper>	I summon a Zombie Grue, a Robot Grue, and a  Ninja Grue
	<Asema>	I combine them to make a NinjaPirateZombieRobot.
	<Flameviper>	I also cast Aura on myself using Defend Skill
	<Asema>	Then make it serve me.
	<Flameviper>	There was no pirate silly bitch
	<Asema>	I have a pocket pirate.
	<SilentPenguin>	:P
	<Flameviper>	Aura automatically regenerates 20 HP per turn,  and regenerates me once if I die
	<Asema>	Well, I cast Anti-Magic Field.
	<Asema>	Flameviper's aura dissipates.
	* Slinking_Ferret	has prepared Finite destruction
	* Slinking_Ferret	casts finite Destruction
	<Asema>	You know, if you do that, you'll also destroy yourself.
	<Asema>	Since you're at so close range.
	<Asema>	And slower than me.
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Hello, BEcromancer.
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Necromancer*
	<Asema>	You can't cast spells if you're dead, bitch.
	<Flameviper>	I have Support Skill: Double Sword, Reaction  Skill: Return magic, Combo Skill: Serpent Combo
	<Slinking_Ferret>	I can become more powerful as a ghost.
	<Asema>	Well, let's see.
	* Slinking_Ferret	casts finite Destruction again
	<Asema>	I have Fast Casting, Rebuke Undead, Turn Undead, Go  HUngry, Blind Fighting, Cleave, Greater Cleave, Bash, Greater Bash,  Alertness...
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Cause you did not let me finish the  first time.
	<Flameviper>	And my Abilities are Doublecast, Aura, Curaga,  Auto-Life, Full Life, Thundaga, Firaga, Blizzaga, Aim: Arm, Aim: Leg,  Take Aim,
	<Asema>	*lists his feats for 10 minutes*
	<Asema>	Well, I have, let's see..
	<Flameviper>	I also have infinite MP
	<Flameviper>	OWNED
	<Asema>	Magic Missile (from 1-200 at once), Anti-Colbert Sword,  Drain Sword, Steal Spell, Return Spell, Spellfire, Fire Sword, Dark  Sword, Shadowfire Sword...
	<Asema>	And I have infinite DEX.
	<Asema>	Which means auto-dodging.
	<SilentPenguin>	MP member of parliement?
	<Flameviper>	I'm talking about actual Final Fantasy skills
	<Asema>	This is a D&D-Fantasy crossover.
	<Asema>	Also, Leg: Aim is suxx0rs.
	<Asema>	Get a better Aim skill, and..
	<Asema>	Wait, why the hell are you using archers?
	<Flameviper>	This means that I can be in the class Red Mage,  White Mage, Black Mage, Defender, Archer
	<Flameviper>	Aim: leg, and it's useful
	<Flameviper>	Against melee units
	<Flameviper>	:D
	<Asema>	Moreover, you're not any of the races for those classes.
       <Asema>	You're not a Viera, Numou, Human OR Bangaa.
 	<Flameviper>	I am God, I can be whatever the hell race I want
	<Asema>	So you can't use any of those classes.
	<Asema>	Also, there's multiple gods.
	<Asema>	Including this one...
	<Asema>	BAHAMUTDOKEN!
	<Flameviper>	I had sex with a viera, she taught me how to use  Red Mage skills
	<Asema>	WTF?
	<Flameviper>	I am the Viper Totema
	<Slinking_Ferret>	:O
	<Asema>	You're a totema?
	<Asema>	Well, let me see...
	<Asema>	Let me just reach into my secretive dual-class style  robes and pull out..
	<Asema>	MY SNAKE-KILLING SWORD!
	<Flameviper>	My dad's a Bangaa, my mum's a nu mou, and I know  human anatomy
	<Flameviper>	Asema...
	<Flameviper>	This would have been over hours ago if you had  the foresight to bring a mongoose into the battlefield
	<Asema>	Besides, you didn't list sage.
	<Asema>	So no Death.
	<Asema>	Would it have, now?
	<Flameviper>	I also have class Masterberry, so I can use  Voodoo. Which does 999 damage, and has 100% accuracy
	<Slinking_Ferret>	Ferrets are relatives to the mongoose.
	<Flameviper>	NO SRSLY, Voodoo is a really cheap move
	<Asema>	Ferret, if that is true, would you kill this clod?
	<Slinking_Ferret>	But I don't mess with a viper with a  flaming sword for a tail.
	<Asema>	Also, I have 1000 HP.
	<Slinking_Ferret>	SWORD OF FLAME!
	<Asema>	I do, however.
	<Asema>	POLYMORPH!
	<Asema>	*turns into a mongoose with Ice-9*
	<Asema>	*casts Ice-9*
	<Asema>	Pwnz0red.
	<Asema>	Yes, that was even cheaper.
	<Flameviper>	Aw crap
	<Flameviper>	Log this
	<Flameviper>	liek, now
	<Flameviper>	Put it on Illlogi

See also[edit]