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This article is quoted from a chatroom somewhere.
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<IRC> |
<SilentPenguin> well, now your here, whos party are you
going to join?
<Slinking_Ferret> PArty you say? Where?
<Asema> Give me a moment.
<SilentPenguin> The Strangled Cat Party (mine), Party42
(No prizes for whos that is) or hindleyites
yet to be named party
<Asema> Alright.. Let's see..
<Slinking_Ferret> Hmm strangly the ferrets
arch foe in sadistic ways you say?
<SilentPenguin> party42 stands for 2having a laugh
<Asema> I think... I'll join Hindleyite's party.
<SilentPenguin> ok
<SilentPenguin> that means fluffy falls into mine
<SilentPenguin> and MrMetalFlower is with Nerd42
<Asema> Very well.
<Flameviper> I get my own party
<Asema> Are you sure?
<SilentPenguin> what?
<Asema> According to MY contract, anything you
own becomes mine, Flameviper.
<Flameviper> The Crystal Flames
<SilentPenguin> heh
<Flameviper> Asema: I haven't used my daily Hadoken
<Asema> Including anything you hear, break, buy, see, or run.
<Flameviper> SO ATUFF YOU
<Asema> I have unlimited Hadokens.
<Flameviper> *STUFF YOU
<Flameviper> I have your face on this stick
<Asema> I have your face on a much bigger stick.
<SilentPenguin> O_O
* Flameviper holds up a stick with Asema's face tied to it
* Asema holds up the bigger stick with Flameviper's
face tied to it
<Flameviper> NOT TO TOUGH NOW, WITH YOUR EYES FALLIN OUR OF
THE ORBITS~
<Slinking_Ferret> Giant beam of pure plasma destroying everything
in it's path with blood curdling screams you say?
<Asema> Yes!
<Asema> In fact[citration needed]
, it's something I like to call...
<Asema> *grabs Ferret*
<Asema> FERRETDOKEN!
* Flameviper throws fire ants onto Asema's raw facial tissue,
which lacks any skin to keep the ants out of the
fragile tissue
* Asema uses Ferretdoken whilst throwing
* Asema a member of the evil council at Flameviper
* Flameviper eats Asema whole
* Asema prepares a swordy nuke
<Flameviper> Silly bitch, your weapons cannot harm me!
* Asema and sends out the SwordJets
* Flameviper is impervious to swords
<Asema> You try to rock me on the dais, but your German isn't good enough.
<Flameviper> The only thing that can beat me...
* Asema is impervious to Chuck Norris
<Flameviper> is a Level 9 Mongoose who can cast Ice-9
* Asema as well as acid, charm, fire and Magic Missile
<Flameviper> And CHuck Norris
<Asema> Okay then.
<Asema> CHUCKDOKEN!
<Asema> The only thing that can beat me..
<Asema> Is the fabled UNIX command, fsck!
<SilentPenguin> :S
<Asema> It's like Format C.
<Asema> And filesystem check.
<Asema> In one.
<Flameviper> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3934651591022114445
<Flameviper> I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!
* Slinking_Ferret sighs and casts finite destruction on Asema
<Asema> Remember, it takes you 6 rounds to cast that.
<Asema> So I can get on a jet to Cuba in that time.
<SilentPenguin> http://illogicopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Illogicopedia:Polictical_Parties
<Asema> I saw.
<Slinking_Ferret> I have been preparing it for the last 5 rounds though
<Flameviper> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3934651591022114445
<Asema> But I still have fire immunity, and that means 10 minutes of protection.
<Asema> And yes, FLAMEViper, my character has fireproofing. Ha!
* Slinking_Ferret likes the Strangeled cat parties Icon
<Slinking_Ferret> HE does
<Slinking_Ferret> Great weakness to ice though
<Slinking_Ferret> And he can't cast spells worth shit.
<Asema> Only %50 more.
<Asema> And you can't attack worth shit.
<Nerd42> ok bye
|<-- Nerd42 has left irc.freenode.net ("CGI:IRC 0.5.7 (2005/06/19)")
* Slinking_Ferret attacks Asema with meteor swarm
<Asema> Ow, but not death.
<Asema> I cast... The Secret 1337 Uber-Art of Dual Classers!@
* Slinking_Ferret casts Magic missle (6)
<Asema> I deal damage equal to your maximum HP.
<SilentPenguin> fires Pwn missiles
<Asema> You fire pwn missiles at me, but I remain unpwned (miss).
<Asema> You can only cause a miss three times, for now,.
<Asema> I run up to you (due to 2 moves and 1 standard action) and attack you for 57 HP.
* Slinking_Ferret uses summon Succubus on Asema
<Asema> I think you might be feeling a little heavy. So, using my once per battle free action, I summon a Law Ninja.
* Slinking_Ferret covers his eyes
<Asema> This ninja steals your most powerful spellbook.
<Asema> I ignore the succubus.
<Asema> However, she still drains my mana.
<Slinking_Ferret> Pfft I also have Psionic matter shaping
<Asema> You're not a psionicist.
<Asema> Wait.. You're a dual-classer?
<Flameviper> I am a judge
<Asema> So this is probably fair game!
* Slinking_Ferret makes Asema's breain turn into pudding... No effect....
<Slinking_Ferret> Pretty much/
<MathPoet> bye for now.
<Asema> I use Pimp Slap.
<Asema> You take damage equal to the amount of spell components you are holding.
<Asema> OH SHI-- *explosion*
<Slinking_Ferret> I use eXtreme ray of something
<Flameviper> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Final_Fantasy_Tactics_Advance#Laws
<Asema> Well, no, you're not a judge.
<Asema> This is a lawless zone.
=-= MathPoet is now known as MathPoetAway
<Flameviper> I'm a judge, bitch.
<Flameviper> I'm God.
<Asema> No, you're not.
<Asema> This is a LAWLESS zoner, bitch.
<Asema> I summon a fierce ninja snowman, to do my bidding!
<Flameviper> ...invincible chocobo-riding arbitrator characters present at each battle...
<Asema> He karate chops you with his stick arms, dealing 50 damage.
<Asema> Not invincible in a lawless zone.
<Flameviper> I summon the JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!
<Asema> This is somewhat like a Jagd.
<Asema> Get it? NO JUDGE, BITCH.
<Flameviper> If I were a Pokemon, I'd be Fire/Steel
<Asema> So, if I may..
<Flameviper> I summon prison rape! It does 50 damage to your ass
<Flameviper> hole
<Asema> I will cast Force Food!~
<Asema> Flameviper eats Diced Goatse, and is Uber Poisoned, mortified, and takes 150 damage;.
<Flameviper> Wait... How much HP do we initially have each, and who's counting?
<Asema> Me.
<Asema> We all have:
<Asema> Flameviper: 600.
<Asema> Me: 380.
<Asema> Ferret: 220 (Defenseless mage.)
<Asema> However..
<Asema> I cast Ice-9!
<Asema> Flameviper takes 450 damage.
<Flameviper> I combine two awful sites to create Tubspin, which deals 50 damage and forces you to break your computer
<Asema> Damn it.
<Flameviper> That, and you're covered in feces
<Asema> I use my RAM to slice you open. You take 200 damage.
<Flameviper> :)
<Slinking_Ferret> I cast the AOL Virus on you
<Flameviper> I slap you around a bit with a large trout! HAH!
<Flameviper> Doing 30 water damage
<Asema> I deal Pointy Fries to Flameviper, causing him to go into Disabled.
<Asema> He can no longer attack.
<Asema> The AOL Virus infects Flameviper, because I am diseaseproof as well.
<Flameviper> I summon a Zombie Grue, a Robot Grue, and a Ninja Grue
<Asema> I combine them to make a NinjaPirateZombieRobot.
<Flameviper> I also cast Aura on myself using Defend Skill
<Asema> Then make it serve me.
<Flameviper> There was no pirate silly bitch
<Asema> I have a pocket pirate.
<SilentPenguin> :P
<Flameviper> Aura automatically regenerates 20 HP per turn, and regenerates me once if I die
<Asema> Well, I cast Anti-Magic Field.
<Asema> Flameviper's aura dissipates.
* Slinking_Ferret has prepared Finite destruction
* Slinking_Ferret casts finite Destruction
<Asema> You know, if you do that, you'll also destroy yourself.
<Asema> Since you're at so close range.
<Asema> And slower than me.
<Slinking_Ferret> Hello, BEcromancer.
<Slinking_Ferret> Necromancer*
<Asema> You can't cast spells if you're dead, bitch.
<Flameviper> I have Support Skill: Double Sword, Reaction Skill: Return magic, Combo Skill: Serpent Combo
<Slinking_Ferret> I can become more powerful as a ghost.
<Asema> Well, let's see.
* Slinking_Ferret casts finite Destruction again
<Asema> I have Fast Casting, Rebuke Undead, Turn Undead, Go HUngry, Blind Fighting, Cleave, Greater Cleave, Bash, Greater Bash, Alertness...
<Slinking_Ferret> Cause you did not let me finish the first time.
<Flameviper> And my Abilities are Doublecast, Aura, Curaga, Auto-Life, Full Life, Thundaga, Firaga, Blizzaga, Aim: Arm, Aim: Leg, Take Aim,
<Asema> *lists his feats for 10 minutes*
<Asema> Well, I have, let's see..
<Flameviper> I also have infinite MP
<Flameviper> OWNED
<Asema> Magic Missile (from 1-200 at once), Anti-Colbert Sword, Drain Sword, Steal Spell, Return Spell, Spellfire, Fire Sword, Dark Sword, Shadowfire Sword...
<Asema> And I have infinite DEX.
<Asema> Which means auto-dodging.
<SilentPenguin> MP member of parliement?
<Flameviper> I'm talking about actual Final Fantasy skills
<Asema> This is a D&D-Fantasy crossover.
<Asema> Also, Leg: Aim is suxx0rs.
<Asema> Get a better Aim skill, and..
<Asema> Wait, why the hell are you using archers?
<Flameviper> This means that I can be in the class Red Mage, White Mage, Black Mage, Defender, Archer
<Flameviper> Aim: leg, and it's useful
<Flameviper> Against melee units
<Flameviper> :D
<Asema> Moreover, you're not any of the races for those classes.
<Asema> You're not a Viera, Numou, Human OR Bangaa.
<Flameviper> I am God, I can be whatever the hell race I want
<Asema> So you can't use any of those classes.
<Asema> Also, there's multiple gods.
<Asema> Including this one...
<Asema> BAHAMUTDOKEN!
<Flameviper> I had sex with a viera, she taught me how to use Red Mage skills
<Asema> WTF?
<Flameviper> I am the Viper Totema
<Slinking_Ferret> :O
<Asema> You're a totema?
<Asema> Well, let me see...
<Asema> Let me just reach into my secretive dual-class style robes and pull out..
<Asema> MY SNAKE-KILLING SWORD!
<Flameviper> My dad's a Bangaa, my mum's a nu mou, and I know human anatomy
<Flameviper> Asema...
<Flameviper> This would have been over hours ago if you had the foresight to bring a mongoose into the battlefield
<Asema> Besides, you didn't list sage.
<Asema> So no Death.
<Asema> Would it have, now?
<Flameviper> I also have class Masterberry, so I can use Voodoo. Which does 999 damage, and has 100% accuracy
<Slinking_Ferret> Ferrets are relatives to the mongoose.
<Flameviper> NO SRSLY, Voodoo is a really cheap move
<Asema> Ferret, if that is true, would you kill this clod?
<Slinking_Ferret> But I don't mess with a viper with a flaming sword for a tail.
<Asema> Also, I have 1000 HP.
<Slinking_Ferret> SWORD OF FLAME!
<Asema> I do, however.
<Asema> POLYMORPH!
<Asema> *turns into a mongoose with Ice-9*
<Asema> *casts Ice-9*
<Asema> Pwnz0red.
<Asema> Yes, that was even cheaper.
<Flameviper> Aw crap
<Flameviper> Log this
<Flameviper> liek, now
<Flameviper> Put it on Illlogi