I am attempting to think of a creative title for an article

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Yes, I am sitting in a chair that may or may not be a living thing, and attempting to think of a title for an article on illogicopedia. A creative title, something NEW and EXCITING!!!

How about a bunch of random letters?[edit | edit source]

I could possibly do that. Yes, it's a distinct possibility. I twiddle my thumbs. Actually, I don't, because you can't twiddle your thumbs and type at the same time. Actually, scratch that, it may indeed be possible. I'll try it. Perhaps it will stimulate some sort of creative flow in my brain.

Twiddling my thumbs and typing experiment #1:


Funny, I didn't find that creatively inspiring at all. I'm no closer to coming up with a potentially interesting title than I was before. I'm changing my position in my chair, to get the blood flowing to my brain a bit better. After all, posture is everything. I'll try twiddling my thumbs again, this time with my hands positioned so that my thumbs will hit the keys. This should be a difficult maneuver.

Twiddling my thumbs and typing, experiment #2:

g f rdff  ff yrdtf y rdf e rsd yyhgnvdddirudusguuuuuudb

Huh. Still no inspiration. Perhaps I'm just a lousy thumb twiddler. Or maybe I need some thumb twiddling juice. Syrum. Performance enhancing...uh...some liquid or fluid designed to temporarily enhance my performance but hurt my health in the long run.

Still no ideas. What a sticky wicket![edit | edit source]

Alas, I'm caught in quite a creative jam here. Maybe I should try a number, some big, preposterous number like 5888483993. That would be a decent title. But no, it's been done before. Most things have been done before, metaphorically speaking, except for virgins. Hahaha, I make joke. But alas, not a particularly amusing or creative one. Nothing that could possibly be put into online, numerical, binary, transcripted form by me then sent via a signal to another computer to be read. I'm just, title-less today. Title-less. Titleist. That's the name of a golf ball. Therefore, the name is taken already, and I can't use it.

I've been thinking for this long and all I've got is the already taken name of a GOLF BALL?[edit | edit source]

Sheesh, how pathetic of me. I guess my creative mind just doesn't want to function today, regardless of how I try to stimulate it. Perhaps I should try Doing a headstand and reciting free verse poetry whilst trying to visualize words in my head. No, my close proximity to a window indicates that that would be a bad idea.

I'll look out the window and see what ideas that produces. Hmmm...it's kind of dark out there. There's a road. GAAH! How many titles of things have the word "road" in them? I don't feel like counting, because I don't have that many fingers, but I'm sure there are a bunch. Of them. Not of my fingers. There are ten of them, I believe. I'll have to count them some time. I'll write that on my list of things to do, right under "Staple a piece of paper to the wall, then throw something at it".

Alas, this is going nowhere[edit | edit source]

Here I am, with this metaphysical golf ball of "lack of title" rolling around in my head. I think it just hit the inside of my ear. It made a clang.

Lack of inspiration. A golf ball...so unoriginal. Oh well, at least I didn't arrive at the conclusion of a softball, or a loudspeaker, or a mattress.

I don't know how many minutes of pondering have occurred. Like fingers, I don't have that many. Wait....what?

Anyway...[edit | edit source]

...I suppose I should just abandon this thing, maybe go downstairs and drink orange juice out of A large, empty, green, cylinder-like container that would have been a good spitting jug if this was a different era. Or perhaps I should just bask in my lack of coming up with any creative ideas for titles. What a WASTE!!!!!

I just pondered possible creative titles for...a stretch of time that lasted a second, or a month...but didn't think of anything that hadn't already been done. No original titles, nothing that hadn't already been used. What a shame.

...yeah, I give up. I'm gonna go make an omelette out of the golf ball in my head.

I just hope nobody asks me to name it.

Well this article turned out better than it should have.