IllogiSource:TV skit

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

→

Despite the fact that Channel Surfing from Studio C is based off of the Radio Skit from UnScripts. So, I made a version of it. Enjoy.

The full transcript

COOK: Now, what you need to do, is stir that until it's about the consistency of a cloud- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: -I'm pleased to announce NASA's new space program which will send a family of rats- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Yes, Veronica. It's true. Your ex-husband is still alive and living in Cairo- (click)

EXERCISE: -Four and slide! Two, three, four and reach! Two, three, four and slide! Two, three, four- (click)

COOK: -Now, take a whisk and really beat- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Your arthritic grandmother. That's rich! Especially coming from the man who was raised by- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: -Feral monkeys which contracted Hepatitis. They, of course, had to be put down and now we're using the rats. One NASA authority said- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Sometimes, I cry in the shower. Ha! You're not fooling anyone! All you've ever cared about is- (click)

EXERCISE: -Your gluts! You feeling a good burn in there? Now we're gonna start working your thighs- (click)

COOK: -And rub 'em down with some olive oil. That's nice. Now we're ready to put this in the oven, along with- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: -Taxpayers' dollars. The president wanted it to be absolutely clear that he has no- (click)

EXERCISE: -Body hair! Some say yes, some say no, but don't be afraid to- (click)

COOK: -Let it envelop you in its aroma. Now, this recipe is simple. It calls for flower, eggs, and- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Your immortal soul! And we never heard from you! You never called, you never wrote, you never even- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: -Learned how to use a special rat toilet. They can navigate complex mazes, and most surprisingly- (click)

COOK: -They're gluten-free. And, if you don't have an electric mixer, you can just use- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Flaming passion! Have you no shame? It absolutely sickens me to think that- (click)

EXERCISE: -This is 20 pounds of human fat in a jar. And if you think that you don't have the willpower to do it, don't despair! because- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: Very few have died in the process. The details of the program are vital to national security, so naturally, the White House- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Will slap that smug look off your face! *slap*- (click)

COOK: -*bang* Ouch! that stings. I- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Love you. Ever since I heard you sing your voice was like- (click)

COOK: -*blender screeching*- (click)

EXERCISE: -Isn't that soothing? It makes me wanna- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Question my will to live! All you can do is- (click)

EXERCISE: -Give your spandex a little snap! *snap* Pretty soon you're gonna have a body as solid as- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: -This nation's economy. In conclusion we'd like to thank you all for coming to this press conference and we hope that you- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Burn for your sins! Don't you see? All I ever wanted was- (click)

EXERCISE: -The flexibility of a Russian gymnast. Just remember, there's nothing more attractive to the ladies then- (click)

COOK: -A chocolate sculpture of Winston Churchill covered in- (click)

SOAP OPERA: -Dirty money! But it's over now. I'm never coming back. You can forward my mail to- (click)

PRESS CONFERENCE: -The cold heart of space. Thank you, and- (click)

EXERCISE: -See you in skinny town, Population: You.