Illogic Poem Book/Page 27

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"Me And My Uncle: The Star Trek Version" by Dan the Hedgehog[edit | edit source]

With no thanks to the Grateful Dead[edit | edit source]

Me and my uncle went flying down
To Deep Space 9, west Bajor bound
We stopped over around deck eight
That being the point just about halfway
And you know it was the hottest part of the day.

All them Ferengi, they's all around
With lots of money, they're loaded down
So soon after payday, you know it seemed a shame
You know my uncle, he starts playing that game
Dabo wheel and the winner take the hand.

My uncle starts winning, Ferengi got sore
Quark called him, and then two more
Accused him of cheating, "Oh no! That can't be!"
I know my uncle, he's as honest as me.
(And I'm as honest as a gambling man can be.)

One of them Ferengi, he starts to draw
I shot him down, LORD, he never saw
Shot me another, that man won't grow old
In the confusion my uncle grabbed the gold
And we high-tailed it straight down to Qo'noS.

Now I love those Ferengi, I love their gold
I love my uncle, GOD rest his soul
Taught me good, LORD, taught me all I know
Taught me so well, I grabbed that gold
And I ejected his dead arse floating out in the cold.

Writer comments: In this context, "gold" actually refers to "gold-pressed latinum."