Illogicopedia:Beta/America
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America
America (not to be confused with South Canada or The Giant Parking Lot) is a large collection of paved surfaces located somewhere between two oceans and several thousand burger joints. It was founded in 1776 when a group of men in powdered wigs decided they were tired of drinking tea and wanted to invent the monster truck instead.
“I've never been to America, but I once saw a picture of a bald eagle eating a donut, and I think that's basically the same thing.”
Geography
America is divided into fifty "States", most of which are square-shaped because the map-makers got lazy halfway through. Notable regions include:
- Florida: The world's largest open-air psychiatric ward.
- Texas: A country that is accidentally inside America.
- California: Mostly expensive air and avocado toast.
- Wyoming: A myth invented by the government to hide a large hole in the ground.
Culture
American culture is centered around the concept of "Freedom," which is defined as the right to choose between thirty-seven different types of toothpaste while a bald eagle screams in the background. The national sport is Professional Arguing, followed closely by Football (a game played primarily with hands).