Illogicopedia:Beta/And
Fuck
Shit
And
And is the universal adhesive of the English language. Without it, sentences would simply fall apart, and we would all be forced to talk like cavemen or efficiency experts. It is estimated that 90% of the internet is actually just the word "and" holding pictures of cats together.
Origins
The word "and" was invented in 1412 by Sir Thomas And-Somethin-Else, who was tired of pointing at two different things and grunting. Before "and," people had to use a complex series of pulleys and ropes to indicate that they wanted both eggs and bacon.
Types of And
There are several different varieties of "and" available on the market today:
- The Ampersand (&): The fancy "and" used by people who want to look like they own a bookstore.
- The Run-on And: Used by toddlers and caffeine addicts to explain their day for six hours straight.
- The Oxford And: A very posh "and" that insists on having a comma before it, even if the comma doesn't want to be there.
- The Hidden And: The "and" that you think you heard but wasn't actually there, like in "Ham n' Cheese."
The Ampersand War
In 1844, the word "and" attempted to merge with the letter "Z" to form a super-conjunction. The resulting civil war lasted three weeks and ended with the invention of the semicolon, which is basically an "and" that forgot what it was doing.