Illogicopedia:Beta/Banana
Fuck
Shit
Banana
The Banana is a highly radioactive boomerang that has forgotten how to return. It is famous for its bright yellow exoskeleton, which it uses to lure unsuspecting pedestrians into hilarious physics-based accidents.
Anatomy of a Scream
Science (or at least the guy we found behind the library) suggests that the banana is actually a fruit. However, Illogicopedia researchers have determined it is a primitive form of long-range slapstick weaponry.
- The Handle: Located at the top, used for holding the banana like a telephone.
- The Peel: A high-friction-reduction device capable of making a 300lb man fly through the air.
- The Gushy Part: The edible core, which tastes like disappointment if it's too green and a mushy nightmare if it's too brown.
History
Bananas were invented in 1924 by a man named Sir Cavendish McFruit, who wanted to create a snack that doubled as a comedic prop. The first banana was actually blue, but it was changed to yellow after it kept getting lost in the sky.
Scale Factor
In the early 2010s, the internet officially replaced the Metric System with the Banana for Scale. It is now widely accepted that the Eiffel Tower is exactly 4,512 bananas tall, while the ego of the average internet troll is roughly 0.2 bananas wide.