Laziness

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“I'm not lazy, I'm just motivationally challenged”

~ Oscar Wilde on Laziness

Laziness is a favorite pastime of the Americans. It originally became a problem some time after your grandparents were your age. It is theorized that it was first started in the sixties.

Rules[edit]

The way to play Lazy is simple. Everything you need to do it is right at your fingertips.

  • First, get into a horisontal position.
  • Next, refuse to do anything yourself.

This is the simplest form of being lazy. However, judges award more points for lazyness if you also start off with a drink and make someone else fill it again for you, then leave it for them to clean up. Bonus points are awarded for getting somebody to get the TV remote for you.

One must prepare for optimum laziness. You should get yourself a laptop, a portable fridge, a remote, and a servant. If you don't have a servant, a little brother or sister or annoying roomate will do.

Most importantly, don't try to hard! Laziness will come to you!

Famous Lazy People[edit]

Everyone needs someone to aspire to. There is a particular Joe Shagotz who once broke the record for hours spent without changing the TV channel: a whopping 3 days and 24 hours! Reportedly, this guy is also an expert lazy person. The biggest lazy champ was Eric Garside, who didn't even show up for the competition because he didn't feel like getting out of bed. My personal hero is my roommate, who refused to get up to see something on his computer, and wanted me to send him the link.

Laziness is growing in popularity! Who knows, there could be an up and coming Lazy champ training right down the hall from you!

Laziness and You[edit]

There is a group of people who are closed-minded enough that they don't think that laziness is a suitable competition for any person to participate in. Some think that it is the cause for a number of health problems, including obesity and flaming cholidia. That is just simply not true. There are all sorts of lazy, for all sorts of people: couch potato lazy, wears-the-same-clothes-day-in-and-day-out lazy, and so on. What's important is that you find the lazy that is right for you!

Laziness Worldwide[edit]

There is a movement to get lazyness into the Olympics. Most of these people don't care enough to do anything about it (because they are themselves lazy competitors). Lazy champs need non-lazy people to stand up for them! Anywhere you hear about someone cutting corners, take off your hat! They are proud people, and deserve your respect! Support lazy people, cause they won't do it themselves!