London

Changing of the Guard at Beeping 'em Palace.

London should not be confused with the more sensible sounding city, Lundumb.

England is the capital of London. L is the capital of London. Hell is the capital of L.

London is made entirely of Lego and resides in the heart of Alberquerque, Greater Somerset. On weekends it sits in Kent but between 7PM and 4AM it mainly stands.

Places to see

When visiting London, there are many exciting locations you can waste your time with. These include a life size recreation of the clock from News at 10 (you know, the one from the HP sauce bottle), a place where guys in posh suits talk nonsense and a complicated underground system of tubes. There's also an old abandoned building where the local crazy woman and her family of cats live. This is particularly of interest as one can pay £5 to be a sardine for fifteen minutes.

Getting around

Walk, it's better for your health.

Tramps

One major feature of London is the wide ranging spectrum of tramps, from the slightly trampish to the completely wasted 'sleep on the Tube track' type. Look out for the ones that play guitar and smash them over the head before stealing their money.

Things to do

• Snipe pigeons in Trafalgar Square
• Knock off a Beefeater's hat
• Jump off the London Eye
• Jump up and down on the Millennium Bridge to make it rock. Extra points for knocking a tramp into the Thames.
• Eat tikka masala!
• And set one’s tounge on fire unless because London’s host country along with other Europeans colonized a lot to get spices or idk somethin’! No excuse for bland food, ¿ñõ? Oui oui?