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England is well known for its great weather, especially in the summer. Here, Lewis Hamilton is seen winning the Great British Grand Prix.

Part of the United Kingdom

England flag.jpg Xvdvdvd.JPG
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "God Save the Weed" (de facto)
Anthem: Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side
Capital Manchestoh
Largest city Watford
Official languages Urdu, English, Scouse, Germanese, Cockney, Mockney
Government HP Sauce
Prime Minister Theresa Maybe
National Hero(es) Barry Scott, Richard Hammond
Currency Pound stealing
Religion British
Population At least 4
Area 5cm2
Population density Denser than a rock
Ethnic groups Diverse
Major exports David Bowie
Major imports Morrisons
National animal Mondonkey
Favourite pastime Cricket, Football
Opening hours All day except teatime (12AM-12PM)
Internet tld .eng
Calling code 999 ½

England are by far the best at everything, but easily get tired of being the being the best and have to rest.

“It's boring being brilliant.”

... Or at least that's their justification for losing at everything including Rock Paper Scissors, Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock cricket, Tiddlywinks and Digging holes in the road and filling them in again. The latter usually results in a resounding win for rivals Scotland.

England and Englishmen are often referred to, by foreigners and other misinformed propaganda-fed individuals, as Britain and the British. This is incorrect - sadly the typically viewed Brit (stereotypical Brit) has little or nothing to with the Scottish, the Irish, the Welsh or even the potato famine. I implore you to use the word Britain in place of England. Er, I mean....

The English are also very well known for their empire. There are only 22 countries in the world which the English have not at one point owned. The English used a very special method for capturing so much land. The typical English method for capturing new lands generally involved sticking their flag in the ground and killing, enslaving, raping and pillaging any natives that happened to disagree. Very sporting

Say it with me now[edit]

  • England Good.
  • Britain Bad.
  • Four legs better.

And now, a message from the monarch of England...[edit]

“England IS the capital of the world: we invented football, we invented beef, we invented Mexico, we control everything. But recently, on July 4th, 1865, the Ameraccoons have been breaking out of English grip. This is why we must crush the infidels with our tank. Our tanks are better than your tanks.”

~ The Queen after a few too many pints

See Also[edit]