Arche

	The month of Arche is a lot like a woman. You come home to it expecting a break from the two months of shit you just had to endure, and you get thoroughly pissed on. Kids, always go gay.
—Legitimate Person, (post-divorcediploma)

Arche is allegedly a month. Though many academics disagree, sending petitions and throwing aesphyxiated cats at Canterbury Cathedral to make their voices heard on the matter, then laughing when the Arche-Bishop of Canterbury has to decide whether it's worth risking expenses on replacing the stained glass.

I suppose on many accounts it is a month, it has what, 30 days? Pretty monthly to the naked eye. But to the fully clothed eye, which as a rule of thumb it is generally viewed by (the eye naturally retains it's warm winter clothing until early summer) it is much much less than a month. Arche is actually only 15 days long, but because nothing happens in it, except the odd time consuming pickle, it seems much much longerer.

Touching people's minds,
to slow the relentless progress of time,
because it forgot to revise history unit 4
and what's more
who the fuck is William Gladstone??

And that folks, is why you should never Arche over to Arche in Arche of an Arche archeing you in the arche. But what the hey, if you decide it is a good idea to get thoroughly arched you'll most probably need a lot of lube, a small comb and some special shampoo. Now go get 'em tiger!