Melbourne
“Rain, rain, and bushfires. Welp!”
“Something else.”
Melbourne also known as Four Seasons In One Day[1] or The Coffee City because everyone is dressed in black and talking about coffee (at least according to Sydney).
Geography[edit | edit source]
Melbourne is located not-very-strategically at the south end of everything around a little pond called Port Phillip Bay. This pond becomes a creek called the Yarra. There are a few hills to the north but otherwise, not much. One thing that is not there is control on building length; the suburban sprawl goes on, and on, and on.
Climate[edit | edit source]
Wet and cold in winter, very hot and dry in summer. Very nice actually. NOT; It's all floods and bushfires. OK? Not really much else.
Public transport[edit | edit source]
There's some public transport managed by PTV. It was named after an episode of Family Guy. LIES!
Trams[edit | edit source]
Trams are a symbol of the city. They are also slow, late, and unreliable.
Trains[edit | edit source]
Trains are operated by Metro. (i.e. Dumb Ways to Die) They are also old, slow, late and unreliable. (Sound familiar?)
Buses[edit | edit source]
They are buses, that's all.
Melbourne from a tourist's point of view[edit | edit source]
The weather doesn't matter. After all, I'm only going to be here for a few days. gets rained out when trying to take a tour of the MCG
I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!
| ☃ | This user is offensive and finds this snowclone. |
. Only, I'm not trying to be offensive. It's the complete truth.
See also[edit | edit source]
- Singular Ways to Die. Replace words for best effect.
- The Coke to Melbourne's Pepsi... we think?
- ↑ Or as little as 30 minutes actually