From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

What is a minion?[edit]

Well a minion is a horrible yellow monster that live on your facebook feed. They are usually spawned by middle aged women who don't know how to use the interwebs properly. Often times accompanied by cute phrases or quotes, minions are very hard to avoid. They plague your life like a pesky housefly. You know.. the kind that are small and quick and impossible to kill and probably are all out to get you.

How do I kill these wretched beasts?[edit]

There is only one way to surely destroy a minion. And that is to remove it's pleasure spots. Its pleasure spots are usually its eyes, mouth, and hands. Sometimes a minion's pleasure spots can include its feet or hair. But usually not. Removing its pleasure spots is easy. First things first, and that is to save the image of the minion to your desktop. All you need to do after that is open up Microsoft Paint and use the select tool to meticulously remove said pleasure spots. Detecting the pleasure spots is easy. Simply stick your nose to your computer screen and sniff around for the areas that smell most like burnt hair. Once you have detected the pleasure spots, promptly remove them. It is suggested to replace the pleasure spots with pictures of rats, as minions are allergic to rats. When you are finished your newly destroyed minion should look something like this.


Congratulations, the minion can no longer bother you. Save it in a folder called 'Dodge Caravans' on your desktop to make sure it never comes back from the dead and try to escape.

Minion Extermination[edit]

If this procedure fails, call your local minion extermination crew. They will eliminate the threat of a minion, and possibly make sure one will never bother you again.