Microsoft Paint

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A typical low-quality MS Paint image. Notice the haphazard outlining and uniform colouration.

Throughout the years, people have prided themselves in making top notch images. They are usually seen using programs such as photoshop or GIMP. However, many people cannot stand to use these complicated image manipulating devices and rsort to a far superioir image make system: Microsoft Paint. Microsoft Paint is by far the best image manipulating system on this [planet we call earth. With its sixteen spearate functions and its 28 default colors, Microsoft Paint is far better than any program that stand sin its way.


Microsoft Paint was created in the year 2999 by Sir Wilbert Gatesworth Jr during a drug trip in a sudden burst of mega-creativity. He quickly scribbled down 400,000 lines of programming code and transcribed them into a program with the help of the Microsoft Office Paperclip.

He created this device, which was called Microsoft DOS. He realized DOS was a slow, confusing piece of crap, so he made the Windows programs.


Microsoft Paint has many uses, ranging from editing photos to... ummm... editing photos. It has a selection tool, paintbrushes, a pencil, more paintbrushes, a fill tool and... another selection tool. It can be used to remove your ex-wife/husband from all your photos, spam "LOL I R TEH RETARD" all over images of celebrities you don't like, or spam "LOL I R TEH RETARD" all over images of yourself you don't like.


Microsoft Paint has been criticised by many concerned mothers who over-exaggerate their kids knowing about things that they shouldn't know. A mother caught her son Timmy drawing a picture of a big penis on his enemy's face. Microsoft gave the women A BILLION DOLLARZ to shut up.

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