North America

There are two things you need to know about North America. It is not India, and it is not water.

When the Europeans figured this out, they put aside their differences, stopped killing each other, and held a meeting. They came to the conclusion that if North America is not India and it is not water, it must be non-Indian land.

Then they went back to killing each other.

History

• 1492: Christopher Columbus says "Can I find another water route to India for you, Queen Isabella? Please please please please please please?"
• 1493: Christopher Columbus says "Done."
• 1804: Thomas Jefferson says "You two find a water route to the Pacific Ocean, which is a water route to India and other countries."
• 1806: Lewis and Clark say "There isn't one." Jefferson says "Oh darn. Looks like we'll have to wait 170 years before we can make China our most favored trading partner."

Living in [North] America

Once disadvantage of living in North America is that you don't have to eat tikka masala. On the other hand, the risk of scurvy is low. On the third hand, you don't get to sing sea shanties all day. On the fourth hand, people only have two hands.

Dying in [North] America

It happens at the end of the millenium when you don't pay your rent. Dispensationalists like Larry Huch tend to worry about this.