Patient Intake?

6:00.

You wake up and count your teeth to make sure they are all still there. They all are. None have tried to escape during the night to the mouth of a more interesting person. NO...(there's a word I'm trying to think of...it's from a Russian movie...that is, an American movie with a Russian character....... in it......)

Anyway, no teeth have defected (THERE'S THE WORD! I SHALL CELEBRATING BY THROWING SOMETHING IN THE SKY!). You itch a scratch and wonder what mutiny may have caused it in this day and age. You itch another scratch. So many itchy. Then something moist.

It's rather cold today, so you light yourself on fire.

You then meticulously interrogate your own eyebrows about their feelings today. Are they comfortable up there on your forehead? How's the view? Have they ever contemplated leaping off? Would they like to be bushier? Skinnier? More like the other eyebrows?

You've probably got a carrot.

Many is the time you've... opened up a document and seen something you wrote many years ago about something you would probably throw away if you've seen something you would throw it away today.

You read your diary. It's boring.