Porridge

I like porridge. It yum. Yum yum yum. Mmmmm..... Porridge very yum. Let me tell you the story about the invention of porridge...

This is the Story of Porridge

One day, Goldilocks was walking on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, and wanted to eat some real crap. She decided to invent something to eat that was even more disgusting than the most disgusting disgusting thing in the most distgusting world of disgustingness. She decided to name it porridge, after her evil twin, Goldilockster (how porridge is related to Goldilockster, I don't know). So, the next day, she went to the grocery store, but then found out that it was run down by evil tyrants, who used The Great Wheel to torture the employees. Since Goldilocks needed to buy some antifreeze, vinegar, dog food, and awesomelyawesomeawesomethings, she decided to help the workers, so she made a plan to rescue them. She then went to Starwarsland to purchase a lightsaber saber sabersword, to threaten the tyrants, though not harming them. So she went into her Ultrasuperjet, and flew to the galaxy far far away. over there, Goldilocks met yoda, who said: "YOU! GO AWAY! IMA TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!", so she did as told, and started peeing on his computer. A while later, yoda died, and Goldilocks was sad. She went to Chuck Norris, and he killed her. When she died, she went to the UNDERWORLD, but the devil did not even think she should have died, so he sent her back to Earth. she died again, but this time, she went to heaven and met John Mccain, who had suffered a severe heart attack. John did not like Goldilocks, so he started bullying her, and one day, he accidentally took out his gun and shot a big hole in the clouds under her feet, and she came falling down, only to die once more. This time, she entered the World of Magical Ponies, and met the pony called Pinky Puff. Pinky Puff said: "Hello Goldilocks! Welcome to the World of Magical Ponies!!!!!! Do you want to ride me?" but then, Pinky Puff turned into a giant pink puff monster, and started to use her magical fire breath to burn everything in her path. Goldilocks said: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". She ran for her life, but Pinky Puff was following her. Then she was hit by one of the fire blasts, and came back to life. She then went to the grocery store again, and found out that the tyrants had died a horrible death, for some weird reason. She then entered the store, and finally bought the supplies to make