Quantum Of Solstice

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Quantum Of Solstice is a docudrama about a downtrodden MI37 agent, James Pond. The film was commissioned by the British Secret Service to act as plausible deniability in the event that the world discovers that their bumbling agents are incompetent.

The films follows the archetypal anti-hero James Pond, who's quest for power and control over the world inadvertently lead him to ruin the master plans of evil cat-stroking villains. Pond is portrayed as a megalomaniac with terrible luck and a fondness for kittens.

Plot[edit | edit source]

James Pond faces his deadliest foes yet as he must battle druids and wizards to stop Dr. David Jackson (evil villain and owner of TESCO) from conquering the earth.

During the course of the film, Pond meets Russian KGB spy Ivanna Suckuoff, who helps him find and destroy a volcano. They then have sex in zero-gravity, because that's how all spies have sex, right?

Towards the end of the film there is a car chase, a runaway train, twelve flying saucers and a cameo appearance by Indiana Jones who reprises his role as Dr. David Jackson, evil scientist and pedigree cat breeder. And he then he has sex.Again.

Cast[edit | edit source]

  • James Pond - Himself
  • Ivanna Suckuoff - Nikki Graham
  • Evil villian - Frankie Boyle
  • Dr. David Jackson - Indiana Jones

Critical reception[edit | edit source]

The films received mostly positive reviews, with film review site Fresh Tomatoes giving it 88% based on 3 reviews. The Sunday Times noted that there was a unsettling amount of nudity and unnecessary sex scenes, while The Sun praised the movie as "a fucking good romp".

DVD release[edit | edit source]

The producers have stated that the film will not be released on DVD as they spent all the money on explosions and can't afford to buy a DVD burner. The film will instead be released on compact cassette and vinyl records.