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The RIAA, which its name is short for "Reality Ignoring Anathema Associates". It is the trade group that represents the U.S. recording industry. Its mission is to foster a business and legal climate that supports and promotes our members' creative and financial vitality through filing lawsuits at anything that moves. Its members are the record companies that comprise the least vibrant national "music" industry in the world. RIAA members steal, manufacture, snort, foolishly litigate, squander, pull out of the anus, and/or distribute approximately 90% of all illegitimate sound recordings produced and sold in the United States.

In support of this mission, the RIAA works to protect squash intellectual property rights worldwide and the First Amendment rights of corporations; conduct consumer industry and technical research; and monitor and review state and federal laws, regulations and policies. They also like to cause anal bleeding. The RIAA also certifies Crap, Shit, Multi-Shit, and SepticTank sales awards.