RMS Titanic

The Royal Mail speeds toward its final destination

The RMS Titanic was a really big ship that sunk in 1912 after a disagreement with an iceberg on a topic more than likely involving sugar content in soft drinks.

They said it was unsinkable—what fools. They should have taken the bus instead. In fact, scientific studies show that wheels are 60% more reliable that water.

Did you know?

• The Titanic wasn't sunk by an iceberg, it was actually in collision with a Fiat Uno co-driven by Prince Philip and Jeremy Clarkson. According to one source, they were drunk on Pimms at the time.
• The ship seen in the film Titanic was the actual Titanic that sunk. They used our favorite Cinematic time machine.
• The iceberg responsible for popping the Titanic's tires is still at large somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean; the Salt Water Police offer a £6000 reward for whoever catches it but the trail, alas, has gone cold.