Rainforest

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

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“I would like a supersize rain forest and a coke.”

~ Some fatass on the enviroment

Rain forests are wandering bands of tropical vegetation dedicated to destroying your deck and patio furniture. Sometimes they include monkeys, but this costs extra.

The Vegetable Menace!

A rain forest is the very worst punishment your deck will ever receive, worse even than Chinese Water Torture, a Tax Audit, or a Titty Twister.

It Gets Worse

One time my Dad was moving his twin bed from my Mom and Dad's Room to the Guest Room because sometimes at night he pees himself and Mom started complaining about the smell. Anyway, he left the bed on the deck for a minute while he drank a six pack and watched Dr. Phil and when he got back his twin bed was gone because a rain forest had eaten it.

Please, Think of the Hookers

One time I was playing Super Mario Kart and I killed a hooker and I thought, man, a rain forest could totally kill a hooker and not even think twice about it. If someone left her on a deck, I mean.

Foresty Doom

A rain forest's only weaknesses are fire, piss, and electricity. If you hit them with enough electricity they revert to a pupal state and can be killed with spears.

Origin of the Species

My dad said rain forests were made by hippies, and if we kill the Master Hippie everything it created would revert back to normal and he wouldn't have to sleep on the dog's bed. I said I think that only works with werewolfs but I would check the internet and be sure.