Rapist

Are you a young man, recently graduated from college? Are you looking for an exciting, well-paying career? Well why not become a professional rapist?

A professional WHAT?

You didn't misread what I wrote. "Rapist" wasn't a typo or anything. YOU could become a paid rapist, with a very high salary and minimal working hours.

How do I do that?

It's simple. Go to a college and take a course in Rape. There aren't many schools out there that offer rape majors, but there are a few. A rape major requires 8 classes. Two deal with rape drugs, three deal with different ways of breaking into a class, and the rest are about perfecting your raping technique. At the end of your three years of Rape Education, you take the official rape exam, in which you must rape as many old women as possible within a half hour. At the end of the Period, the old women will all judge how good you were at rape, on a scale of one to ten. If you're average score is above 8, you are given your certificate of rape mastery, and you become a professional rapist. If your average score is NOT above 8, you are dealt with. After finishing college, you could work for a number of companies that have rape departments, including such prestigious companies as WalMart and McDonald's.

What exactly would I do if I became a professional rapist?

You'd rape people for MONEY! All over the world, there are insecure women who are bored with their lives and want a little more excitement. There are also women who want to play delightful practical jokes on their friends by having them raped repeatedly. That's where YOU come in! As a professional rapist, you'd work from home, which allows you to relax until a potential customer calls you. If you do get called by a potential customer you discuss the place of the rape, the time, and any special equipment she might want you to rape her with.

Is it really that simple?

Yep! If you are a GOOD brutal rapist, you could be making more money than most CEOs make EVER! Consider a career in rape. You won't regret it. Much.