Period
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“The only instance of life where grammar is more fun than women.”
“Im sorry, I don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.”
“It makes women want to bitch and it makes men want to kill women. I love the irony.”
“I hearby conclude my statement about Periods with a.”
“These are the times that try men's souls.”
“In Soviet Russia, period has YOU!”
“A Period is what i call japan because the japanes flag has a red dot in the middle of it and china is vegina hehehehe”
Periods don't exist, they are an elaborate hoax created by feminists and the IBHA. This fact was recently proven by scientists in an experiment, which is how many facts are proven.
The Invention of The Period[edit | edit source]
Periods were invented by Hilary Clinton in 1641 K.W. as a means of being able to slack off from duties and completely disregarding responsibilities, if anyone wanted her to do something all she had to say was "I don't feel like it, I'm on my period you gay mother fucker, I'll shit down your fucking throat!", she could also get away with the noticeable hostility by saying that periods made her uncontrollably angry. By utilizing the period Hilary evaded all responsibility or even common decency for the sake of her apathy for everyone else around her, as the habit began to become routine (on an almost monthly basis, but she could just say she was on her period whenever she wanted, no one would know.) she began to frequently incorporate new ideas, such as frequent migraines, inability to achieve any height of sexual arousal or pleasure, and the ability to treat everyone like shit. After a few years of being a total bitch Hilary began to just randomly make up even more bullshit just to evade even more work, such bullshit ailments included:
- reduced quality of vision
- inability to have sexual intercourse and make children
- hyper-ability to concieve children (the facts changed frequently, although in any case she wouldn't let a man 50 miles near her genitals due to intense hostility)Template:Biatch
- alchoholism
- An increase in "oestrogen" (whatever the hell that is)
- cramping
- AIDS
- Ugliness
- Inability to leave the house
- Low Self Esteem
- bloating
- painful stool
- inability to cook
- inability to urinate
- inability to walk
- inability to take care of one's self
- inability to speak
- ability to inability
- inability to serve the white man
- inability to inability
- etc.
The lies were hardly limited to these examples but these were the most prominent.
Period fuck is a no no unless upon female request.
A Sudden Boom in Popularity[edit | edit source]
Women everywhere learned of the amazing powers of being an asshole one afternoon May 3rd 1997, when Bill Clinton was making an important speech and she staggered in and began demanding that Bill vacuum the carpet or she'd kill herself.
She killed herself.
Discovery of Bullshittery[edit | edit source]
In the year 2001, scientists discovered that periods were complete bullshit with an experiment. The experiment was simple: observe someone "suffering" from a period for 48 hours behind a two-way mirror. The results: Periods are bullshit, the minute any straight male would leave the room the subjects would return to normal as though their symptoms were suddenly cured, then when someone would knock strongly on the door they would lay on the floor and roll around and turn into whiny little bitches, the trend continued all day and night for two days, thus it was proven to be fake.
Another common experiment is to put a tampon into the toilet. You cultured folk will get it, I promise you.
The Status of Periods Today[edit | edit source]
It is generally understood that periods are just a woman's excuse for being a lazy bitch, but no one has the balls to confront a woman about it yet. Until then the economy will suffer, people will keep dying, and women will continue to get a free ride on the period train.
A period is a very stressful experience that occurs every month for those who are "regular." For the "irregulars," I don't know. It is a crappy time, but well worth it if in the future you decide to have a child. However, it's not worth it if you decide to wear white pants.
Famous People Who Have Periods[edit | edit source]
Many famous people have periods, here is a list of several of them:
- Paris Hilton
- Ann Coulter
- Richard Simmons
- Firecrotch
- Hillary Clinton
- Michael Jackson (twice a month)
- Al Gore
- Nancy Grace
- That guy with the mustache from Cheers
- Yoko Ono