Richard M. Daley
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Mayor Richard M. Daley is the mayor of Chicago. Mayor Richard M. Daley lives in the Sears Tower, so that Mayor Richard M. Daley can wake up every day and daily watch over Mayor Richard M. Daley's realm.
The position of mayor is largely ceremonial, and consists of creating enough wind to keep the nickname Windy City for Chicago. This is done in a number of ways. First, it involves eating lots of bean burritos. Second, the mayor must maintain a level of corruption just low enough to avoid Federal indictment, but high enough to provide ample opportunity for blowing lots of hot air long and often about an honest administration. Third, and this was invented by Mayor Richard M. Daley, flapping ones arms about like wings. In order to get other people to help out with this, Mayor Richard M. Daley destroyed Miggs Field after eating a particularly large and unsettling burrito.
The bean burrito is a recent invention in Chicago politics, celebrating the diversity of cultures in Chicago. In the past, other mayors like Mayor Richard J. Daley (unrelated) ate cheese curds and bratwursts. Sometimes Mayor Richard M. Daley eats Polish hotdogs, but that might just be an urban legend, as most Polish people are quite down to earth.
On Saint Patrick's Day, Mayor Richard M. Daley is responsible for dyeing the Chicago River green, thus insuring protection from the evil evil fish for another year. Mayor Richard M. Daley once drew criticism for this, but had the student protestors all thrown in the river. Or maybe that was Mayor Richard M. Daley's father, Mayor Richard J. Daley (unrelated). It does not really matter.