Small bang
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The Small Bang Theory is best illustrated by a dude in a cow suit, who in turn is in a Santa Claus suit. Notice the lack of scaly appendages.
Small bang, or "the theory of a few things", takes into account the laziness of the average pointless planet-dweller while explaining life, the universe and everything. Singularities are represented as milk cows, with the cosmic background radiation likened to bubonic plague. The speed of light becomes a milk pail, with mass being Santa Claus, and energy becoming bacon.