Surgical Marriage

Surgical Marriage is an alternative to traditional marriage, in which the bride and groom are surgically attached to each other. It has been popular since early 2005, when the first surgical marriage was performed in Massachusetts (the couple was fused at the shoulder).

It makes it much harder for your spouse to cheat on you when you are actually physically attached to their body. This is one of the main beneficial factors of Surgical Marriage.

One of the most famous surgeons who performs these procedures is Stan Gromtgoonm. "For most couples, I'll usually just join them at the hand or shoulder," he says, "But sometimes I do weird stuff. Sometimes I'll fuse their noses together. That's always hilarious. Other times, I'll join the husband's head to the wife's knee. That's also pretty interesting."

Most hospitals also offer surgeries to bind whole families together. Which can make going to the bathroom much more difficult. And hilarious.

To be apart of surgical marriage with someone (or anything and everything else [e.g. a rock]) you need to:

[baleeted paragraph due to dumbshitness]