Teddy Bears

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Teddy Bears are pack hunting mammals that generally feed on small children. 97% of Teddy Bear attacks end with a dead child and a happy, blood soaked teddy bear.

They are commonly found in bedrooms, such as the one I am writing this article in. In fact, I have a large collection of teddy bears on my bed. In my opinion, they are not at all-

AAAAAAARRRGGGHHH! Get them off me! No! NO! NOOOOOO!