The Adventures of Red Sailor
Chapter one: Decks ahoy![edit | edit source]
Jimmy had a problem with his ear. The thing just, fell off. I mean, how would someone who has spent the last half of his life studying the human ear know what the hell has happened when his ear falls off? Obviously not Jimmy. He reacted by buying a boat and launching his best friend Kyle out of a cannon of the boat deck tied up with lead bricks. He wondered why Kyle never returned his calls after that.
Jimmy had faced many monsters before that, namely Bobby Bucket, the sorcerer of the Mutant Raspberries. But now with his boat he faced another monster: the sharks.
Chapter Two:Sharks[edit | edit source]
Now the sharks were attacking his boat! The only thing he had left to do was throw sharpened carrots at the large fish, hoping to make their virginity leave them and have them chase after it. The plan worked, and the sharks swam away. Jimmy was heading back to Asia when he realized he had left his sunglasses on the table. He set out into the middle of the ocean to hope to find the aerosol can, coming back with nothing more than a wookie pelt. Then the sharks were back!
His carrots had already flew into space using the thermometer they rigged, so Red sailor (aka:Jimmy) was in trouble. His mom was nowhere in sight, and his teddy bear was below deck. If only he had two feet instead of three...
Later that day Jimmy was sitting on a shark that was dead. He was eating a hot dog he had managed to scavenge from inside his belly button. It was soggy because Red Sailor had been hanging out in the kitchen for twenty minutes without burning something. Now his boat was gone, and several sea turtles started throwing old shoes and rubber balls at him. Who cares if he didn't have a boat? He was happy in his new home.