The Star Kid Theory

From Illogicopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

My name is Astro Boy. I am one of many generations in a long lost clan of Star Kids. We Star Kids have been on this gigantic circular object, similar to our home planet, ASTRO EARTH! for many thousands of million years. Many years of thousands. We have been kicked out of our planet by a group of fat delinquents named Comet Kids. They may look horribly obese (because they are) but they are evil. Pure evil. Compressed into kilobytes. Of evil.

Pure evil.

My Theory[edit]

My theory is that we must reclaim our planet. We Star Kids and Star Men (our leaders) must reclaim our planet that we lost hundreds of millionium thousands years ago. So long ago, I cannot remember the date. But then again, I have not lived that long. But the point is, that we must conquer our planet. We have lived on this planet with all these clone-looking people who make weird TV series, and books, and movies about us. We are not pop culture! WE ARE STAR KIDS!!!! MARK MY WORDS, YOU PEOPLE!!!! WE WILL CLAIM YOUR PLANET IN THE NAME OF ASTRO EARTH!

Now then, my theory. We must use our ultra awesome super cool posing powers of STAR HAPPY FRIENDLYSHIP LASER GUNS. That is the only way to re-conquer what we have lost. And what have we lost? Our planet full of the nice food that is packed in glutinous rice, and the nice food that has seaweed wrapped around. And to what lengths shall we go? TOTAL DESTRUCTION!


Our Star Powers[edit]

We Star Kids each have our own special star powers. Whether it is the power to score a combo multiplier of 5x in Guitar Hero, or whether it is Anorexia, and even the ultimate power to use STAR HAPPY FRIENDLYSHIP LASER GUNS without recoil. Yes, recoil, our worst enemy. So now Star Kids, UNITE! And reclaim what was lost!

And what was lost..?