The Wonderful Adventure of Tim, Todd, Jim, and Jordan and the Amazing XBOX

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Well then I see you've stumbled upon the wonderful adventure of Tim, Todd, Jim, and Jordan and the amazing XBOX. Do note that I am referring to an XBOX360 and not the large mass known as the original XBOX. Yeah.

Well as our story starts Tim decided to have a few friends over, three to be exact. They were Todd, Jim, and Jordan. They weren't great friends with Tim but he had an XBOX so they loved his house.

At 5:00 everyone arrived and grabbed a controller.

Jim: So what are we going to play?
Todd: Let's play Call of Duty 5.
Tim: Todd; Call of Duty 5 hasn't came out yet. If you are referring to Call of Duty: World at War, then yes, we can play.
Jordan: So what war is that again?
Tim: World War II.
Jim: Aghh... Why can't they have a game in the Nam? Jeez.
Tim: WWII was a very important war and needs to be played.
Todd: And the retards at Infinity Ward can't put it in one game.
Tim: They felt the war needed to be long-
Jordan It took three freaking games to finally get to D-Day and it wasn't even great. Let's go online 'cause splitscreen sucks.
Tim: We can't because there's only one person online per console.
The game starts up and they select splitscreen. They're playing on Asylum. Tim & Todd vs. Jim & Jordan.
Tim: Get down! Get down!
Todd: Tim, you don't have to ropeplay.
Jordan: Bam! Got you mutha focka with that bad ass no scope, bitch!
Jim: Grenade!
Jim: Yeah son! Double kill!
Tim: This isn't Halo.
The game ends Todd & Tim - 5, Jim & Jordan - 25
Jordan: Yeah, we romped yo ass cause we gangsta!
Tim: How about another game... How about Oblivion?

Erm... Hate to butt in but, by 'Oblivion' he is referring to "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion". It is a single-player RPG that was considered highly overhyped but I loved it nevertheless... Back to the story.

Jim: Let's go on a... SPREE
The start up the game and select Tim's character that has completed everything in the game and port to the Imperial City.

Cue the song, "Indestructible" by Disturbed.

Jim: I am an indestructible master of war!!!!!
Todd: Pssstt... Just cause the author said to cue it doesn't mean its actually playing in the background.

In reality something by Breaking Benjamin was in the background. Probably "Blow me Away"...

Tim: ...only the strongest will survive! Leave me to heaven when we di-iie. I would a something around the world. And all be the one to save us all!!!
Jordan: Hey go kill that guy High Chancellor Ocato. He seems important.
Tim: I can't. He's too important to the game.
Jim: You can't kill everybody?
Todd: Gay.
They take out Oblivion.
Jim: Let's be rockin' the Guitar Hero World Tour!
Clearly, they then insert the disc and hook up the instruments.

So Jim was on bass, Tim on drums, Todd on lead, and Jordan on vocals.

They selected "What I've Done" by Linkin Park due to its easiness.
Jim was on Hard, Tim was on Expert, Todd was on Medium, and Jordan on Easy because vocals aren't fun on anything else.
Jim: When's the piano gonna stop and the music start?

Just then the notes started and Jim missed almost all of them.

Jordan: In this farewell. There's no blood, there's no alibi. Cause I've drawn regret, from the truth, of a thousand lies. So let mercy come... And wash aaaaa-waayyy WHAT I'VE DONE!! I'll face myself to cross out what I've beeeeguun! Erase myself! And let go of what I've done. What you've asked, what you've though of mee. And I clean this slate; with the hands, of uncertainty. So let mercy come, and wash away.. WHAT I'VE DONE!! I'll face myself to cross out what I've beeeeguun! Erase myself! And let go of what I've done! I start again... And whatever pain may come. Today this ends... I'm forgiving WHAT I'VE DONE! I'll face myself to cross out what I've beeeeguun! Erase myself! And let go of what I've done. I'm forgiving WHAT I'VE DONE!

By the way you gotta give me props for writing down all of the song's lyrics straight from memory.

After that they were fairly bored considering everyone but Jim got an 100%.

They took the game out and put in Halo 3.
They all signed in and got on Social Slayer.
They were in a Team BRs match on Guardian.
Tim: I got snipe 1. Jordan secure snipe 2.
Jordan: Secure. Jim; see anything from elbow?
Jim: Two covies at top middle. Todd; can you take them down from green?
Todd: Ohh.. Oh... Double kill bitchess!
Tim: That's straight up gangster!
Jordan: I bet we could give the pros a run for their money.

Now I honestly could make them face an actual team but you'll make fun of me for being a nerd.

They sent an invite to a big MLG team and got in a game of Multi-Flag CTF on Onslaught.

I will skip the embarrassing details due to the fact that the guys will kill me if I put them in.

Game over. Score- Pros - 3, The Guys - 0. Match time: 00:50 mm/ss
Jordan: Yeah... let's play NCAA 09.
Jim: Naw. The system's screwed up.
Tim: Should we play Skate. 2?
Todd: Party play sucks.
Jordan: Army of Two?
Jim: There's four people here.
Tim: COD4?
Todd: Need I remind you last time we played COD?
Jordan: Well... What is there?

Then a bright light came from down the hall. It seemed to drag them. The four followed it and there they saw it... A Nintendo 64.

Jim: Super Smash Bros. anyone?

So that night they played and played and played and they played some more and never found something to stop playing for so the moral of the story is that you are a loser and a cheap piece of crap if you're one of those people who sells a console or game after you don't play it for like a week.

You know who you are.