To Whom It May Concern
With a legendary fervor which would put Ralph Nader to shame, Whom spent his days wandering from town to town, aggressively promoting opinions and political viewpoints on every imaginable subject from the acquisition of aardvarks to subsidies for zymurgy. Unfortunately for Whom, the governments of the day did not listen to or consider even a one of these ideas, eventually leaving Whom an old, insane and broken man. In his later years he went around Greece on a speaking tour, complaining about the youth of his time and how no one ever listens to him. Not a single person went to any of his speeches.
At the age of five hundred, Whom was felled by a fatal attack of apathy. He was buried somewhere or other.
Nonetheless, his fervor as advocate and philosopher has inspired respect and awe among subsequent writers, who often dedicate their works To Whom It Maye Concern in his honour.
It is a commonly held misconception that 'To whom it may concern' means something like 'To just about anyone who gives a shit'. This misconception is false. I know, it's incredible.