Uber-rant
Welcome to Uber-rant, the ultra long medium length short and pointless article about nothing in particular. How do you begin a rant about nothing, you ask? So do I.
Uuuuuuhhh...WEETABIX!!! Woooooooo, yummy. Anyway, where am I? Oh yeah, Uuuuuuhhh, oh, I know what to talk about, that thing with the thing in it's thingies...the newspaper! The nosy nosepaper! You hear about that guy who did the thing? Yeah, me neither. Lets turn to the sports pages. Oh poo, it says all sports are cancelled due to all the sportists having died of steroid abuse. Now I really can't think what to rant on pointlessly about...but I shall continue anyway. Birds can fly up to 100 feet in the air except French ones who just surrender. Prof. Weeto has released new findings on the subject of why humans have no second stomachs in their eyes, and That guy off the Mr. Muscle ads has officially overtaken Big Bird as the worlds tallest yellow bird. The queen today received a birthday enema from Lee Evans, and later said "Damn, dat Foo' jammed some fat pipe up ma Royal Rectum, Fo' F***'s S*ke". Authorities aRE CHECKING INTo this cLaim.
Chicken goes cluck cluck, cow goes moo, as does the moose! I'm just an animal how 'bout you? By Joe, this must be the longest and most useless rant I've ever done, excluding the one I did yesterday or the one I did tomorrow. Which brings me neatly onto the subject of the political instability in the country of Middle-eastland, in southern Europe. Wait, no it doesn't, and even if it did I would still put my own head through a stain glass window painted red with the blood of diabled orphans. Only 5 calories!! This just in: France surrendered.
G!!! I forgot how to make this article stay at 1 screen width, so i hope you don't have authritis or some other nasty bone disease because that truly would be super-harr harr harsh. Please, if you do suffer from any disease that makes it immensely painful to scroll on a computer, please do not bother reading the above article.
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Do you ever get that feeling where you think a rusty blade has sliced deep into your reproductive system, then someone has poured slightly acidic lava into your eyes and ripped off your fingernails one by one, then it turned out to be gas? I get that every other yesterday. NO FACES ALLOWED.
FIRAGA!