User:MrMan/The Halloweenist's Bible
Hola, retards of Halloweenism. This book is about the god of Halloween, Mr. Jack O. Lantern. Here is it in an easy-to-understand format.
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Abstract[edit | edit source]
Caution. This may contain spoilers. If you actually want to read the whole stoyy, rather than a summary, don't read 'dis part. If not, read 'dis or eat my shorts!] Ello, people of Halloweenism. I see you may not have 'nuff time to read a whole book do here is an abstract.
Chapter 1[edit | edit source]
Here, Mr. L created a whole Halloween world called Earth. He made it very good and full of candy. He decided this was good and created everything else. Then, the Vampires and Ghouls teamed up together to stop Mr. L's Rule. They were sucessful and ruled the world with a fist made of iron.
Chapter 2[edit | edit source]
Here, Mr. L tries to fight back for his civilization he created and will do anything to get it back. Also, the Vampires and Ghouls fight against each other.
Battle of Vampires Vs. Ghouls[edit | edit source]
With bloodshed, the Vampires and Ghouls fight to earn the crown of owining the world after they split apart. Obviously, the Vampires win.[citation needed]
Chapter 3[edit | edit source]
The Vampires enslave the Ghouls and face a reign change from the Zombies, who promise fairness to the world ruined by the Vampires.
Chapter 4[edit | edit source]
The Zombies won and broke their promise to the people. They had it worse.
Chapter 5[edit | edit source]
Mr. L, who has not appeared for a while, takes back the world with the final war between the Zombies, Ghouls and Vampires being aided by the Ghosts.
Chapter 6[edit | edit source]
The summary of the book (wait, I thought this was!), which describes harmony after the final battle.
Intro[edit | edit source]
Wait, ya foo! Ya thought 'dat 'dere was gonna be 'anoda abstract! Well, 'dere's not gonna be 'anoda!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya too laza to read da actual book? WELL, READ IT!!!
Chapter 1[edit | edit source]
(1,1)In the beginning, Mr. Jack O' Lantern made everything you see on this earth (and agruably, the earth itself).
(1,2)He then rested and watched the Super Bowl.
(1,3)He then placed candy on his earth for everyone to eat.
(1,4)He then rested and watched Dancing with the Stars.
(1,5)He then got fat and was extremely lazy from doing all this.
(1,6)The Vampires and Ghouls teamed up to defeat Mr. L.
(1,7)They were punched by him and were knocked out.
(1,8)Then the Vampires bit him and his perfect Halloween world became nothing by their rule.
(1,9)They just ruled with a fist made or iron.
In Conclusion[edit | edit source]
Well, Mr. L is a loser for having the Vampires and Ghouls beat him.
Chapter 2[edit | edit source]
(2,1)Mr. L was very upset about losing his civilization.
(2,2)He tried calling telemarketers to get it back.
(2.3)He failed this way and then watched television, hoping to get an idea.
(2,4)This failed and then he tried calling the Vampires to politely ask for it back.
(2,5)The Vampires were too busy to answer the call since they were having disagreements with the Ghouls about how the world should be run.
(2,6)The Ghouls wanted complete anarchy.
(2,7)The Vampires wanted a Communist rule where the Halloween world would get no candy, children would not be tricking or treating and a bloody mess would cover the world.
(2,8)They split apart and then had a battle.
(2,9)The Vampires blew a big bomb on the Ghouls made of Oxygen Diochloride and killed them.
(2,10)The Ghouls then brought themselves back to life and killed all of the Vampires with a blow and therefore declared the winners.[citation needed]
(2,11)The world was an unhappy mess.
In Conclusion[edit | edit source]
Mr. L is a complete loser and the Vampires are a weak race for losing control like that.
Chapter 3[edit | edit source]
(3,1)The Ghouls enslaved the Vampires.
(3,2)The Vampires did all of the dirty work, including delivering the bressel sprouts to replace the candy often wanted.
(2,4)The Zombies promised to rebel against Ghoul rule and promised to give freedom they had under Mr. L.
(2,5)The Zombies went to Mr. Ghoul's office and beat him with a stick.
(2,6)He surrendered and gave the Zombies rule all over this Earth.
In Conclusion[edit | edit source]
The Vampires are wimps for letting the Ghouls boss them around and they must have enjoyed the dirty work. The Zombies sure told those losers though!
Chapter 4[edit | edit source]
(4,1)The Zombies had promised fair rule like that under Mr. L.
(4,2)They had not given it, and were much worse in the matter.
(4,3)They gave the people hardtak and were extremely unfair about decisions.
(4,4)They had made the people very upset about this and were known as "Promise Breakers".
(4,5)They were dumb and let the people have the freedom to dress theirselves.
(4,6)They wore shirts against Zombie rule in the heavens and on Earth.
(4,7)The Zombies came to Earth and fried everyone wearing them with a big cheese ray and then allowed no freedom at all.
In Conclusion[edit | edit source]
It must have sucked to have no freedom. The Zombies were cold, man! Those people were dumb for rebeling with those shirts! They are now cheese!
Chapter 2[edit | edit source]
(2,1)Mr. L was very upset about losing his civilization.
(2,2)He tried calling telemarketers to get it back.
(2.3)He failed this way and then watched television, hoping to get an idea.
(2,4)This failed and then he tried calling the Vampires to politely ask for it back.
(2,5)The Vampires were too busy to answer the call since they were having disagreements with the Ghouls about how the world should be run.
(2,6)The Ghouls wanted complete anarchy.
(2,7)The Vampires wanted a Communist rule where the Halloween world would get no candy, children would not be tricking or treating and a bloody mess would cover the world.
(2,8)They split apart and then had a battle.
(2,9)The Vampires blew a big bomb on the Ghouls made of Oxygen Diochloride and killed them.
(2,10)The Vampires killed all of the Ghouls with a blow and therefore declared the winners.[citation needed]
(Betcha you didn't read 'dat before!)
Chapter 5[edit | edit source]
(5,1)Mr. L decided to give up his politeness.
(5,2)He decided to have a final battle with them;who wins gets to be eternal rule.
(5,3)The Ghouls, Vampires and Ghosts were all against him.
(5,4)He used a Celluose Dioxide bomb to blow up the Ghosts.
(5,5)For the Vampires, he used a garlic spray that killed them.[citation needed]
(5,6)He put the Ghouls in a lunch tray for schoolchilren to eat.
(5,7)The Zombies had injured him and he could barely fight.
(5,8)He delivered a last strong carbon trioxode blow that killed all of them.
(5,9)He had to go to the hospital.
In Conclusion[edit | edit source]
Well, those guys fighting the almighty Mr. L, who made them, were losers and wimps! They lost hard time! Well, I hope they learned their lessom:don't mess with Mr. L!
Chapter 6[edit | edit source]
(6,1)The world was happy with Halloween harmony.
(6,2)The children enjoyed tricking and treating and the adults enjoyed daytime television.
(6,4)They had an abundant food source.
(6,5)They, overall, were happy, except for those rebelling against Mr. L and temporarily ruling the world.
(6,6)They did slave work for their actions and Mr. L ruled them with a fist made of iron.
In Conclusion[edit | edit source]
Well, i got nothing! I SAID I GOT NOTHING! WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? THE NOTHING PART?! WELL, GO AWAY YOU SMART ALECK, I GOT NO COMMENTARY FOR YA!
More Commentary (Yay!)[edit | edit source]
What a fantasic story of our Halloweenist origin, eh? I think so! Have a nice day!
Payment[edit | edit source]
Reading this book cost $654765774765.44 per time. Please pay Mr. Jack O' Lantern this pay plus donations for keeping this book cheap! You are not going to pay, eh? Well, you are going to jail, directly to jail! You will not pass STOP of lose $300!