You have mail

You have mail.

MAIL?

MAIL?

MAIL!!!

Oh crud, I've got mail! Whadda I do? Whadda I do? It's probably a threat! A THREAT! Mail! MAIL!

MAIL IS A THREAT!!!

A THREAT?

A THREAT?

A THREAT!!!!!

Ok, calm down. It says it's from Jim. Phew.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Phew, much better. Now to open...NO! DONT OPEN THE MAIL!

It's got a virus! A VIRUS!!!!!

AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Ok, calm down. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. There we go, calming exercises. Now to open that whaddyacallit? Ah yes, virus.

VIRUS?

AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

NO wait, calm down. IT'S MAIL, FRED! GET THAT INTO YOUR OWN MIND!!

MIND!!!! MIND!!! MIND!!! THE MAIL WILL TAKE OVER MY MIND!! WHADDA I DO? WHADA I DO????? HAHHHH!!!!

I scoff at you, mail. YOU ARE NO THREAT! FOR MY MAGNUM IS BY MY SIDE!!! BE SHOT, EVIL-DOER!!!

HERE,I PULL THE TRIGGER AND...NO WAIT? WHY WOULD I SHOOT MY COMPUTER?

AND WHY AM I TALKING IN CAPS ALL THE TIME?

WHY?

WHY?

WHY!!!!!

Bah, humbug. OK, I click this and...here goes, eeh, eeh, eeh...

Click (or some other click-ish noise that your mouse makes)

Like, clock or something. OK, enough with the narration.

HEY! IT'S GOT WORDS IN MY MAIL!!! WORDS?

Could it be a threat to me asking for money?

MONEY?????

MONNY!!!!

NO WAIT, ER

MONEY!!!!

I DON'T HAVE MONEY!!!

DELETE IT!!! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!

Wait, it's from Bob. phew. let's read it.

"Hey, Fred. I sent you a picture of my time in Yugoalaskaslaviavolakia. It's coming shortly."

Ah, phew.

You have mail

I HAVE MAIL????

Hey, it's from Bob. Or was that Jim? Bah.

Subject: Photo-ma-jiggy

Let's see, er....

CLICK.

OOH, mail.

IT'S GOT AN ATTACHMENT!!!!!!!!!