ZUTE ALOR!

This article was too bizarre for Uncyclopedia,   but Illogicopedia loves random stuff.

→

ZUTE ALOR! (pronounced; holy france'n s***!) was a modern day alert system. Unlike the bells and whistles and sirens used in alerts such as hurricanes, fires and ziggy-buggy-doo bomb threats, the ZUTE ALOR! is actually effective and is also the first bionic alarm.

      /\    /\
     /  \/\/  \/\                
     (0) (o)   |c)    ZUTE 
   (____/      |      ALOR! 
  (____      __|___)     
       |  ___  |___               
       |(   |  | |  )
       \/_|_| |_|_| \    
        \     |
         \__ /   

HOW THE ZUTE ALOR! ALARM IS SEEN ON THE NEW COMPUTER ALARM SYSTEM.

History

Once upon a time in a place far, far away (France actually) there lived a mad scientist by the name of Fred. In his lifetime of inventions gone wrong he was used to alarms and was sick of the old: WWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! alarms that he was so used to hearing. He wanted to create a more effective and less (I said less) annoying alarm, that he could relate to. After seven days and seven nigh... wait a minute, that was Noah... after about 10 days of planning and inventing, he was finished. The ZUTE ALOR! alarm was born!!!

Multiple Attributes!

In the production and selling stage of ZUTE ALOR!, many very awesomely, wickedly, greatly, largely, sickly, superly, goodly, megaly, cooly, brucely so-so attributes were found:

1. It was indestructable (that's always a good thing)

2. It could speak in many languages, like French, hobo French, gangsta French, leet French, hillybilly French, fries French, French French and English

3. Although its main call was "ZUTE ALOR", the ZUTE ALOR! was updated for sale outside of France and gained many more catchphrases like:

• Mamma Mia! - Italy
• Crikey! - Australia
• Oh My God! - America
• Ching Chong! - China
• ZOMG! - Nerds
• Hot Diggity Damn! - Gangsta

and many more...

4. It was updated for detection of new threats such as Shoop Da Whoop, Chuck Norris and Mexican Vampires among others.

But...

The ZUTE ALOR! had only one weakness...bananas! It couldn't stand there yellowness, curves and chewiness! Long exposure to bananas would make it break out in hives and go insane. Therefore, its "mortal" enemy became Gwen Stefani.

Downfall

It was a dark and stormy night. Fred was fast asleep, unawares of his enemy, Bob, who was creeping around just outside. Bob, being jealous of Fred's success with ZUTE ALOR!, snuck into the garage that protected the server that ran all the ZUTE ALORS! around the world. It was then that Bob poured a large amout of Banana Smoothie onto the server crashing and ruining every ZUTE ALOR! in the world. As the main thing that made Fred famous was now ruined, Bob went on to become even more famous then Fred (I mean come on, who dosn't mention Bob on a daily basis?).

The Return

2 years later Fred was still furious of Bob's crime so went to work on an even better ZUTE ALOR! alarm. This one would be even bigger and better and more French than the original. It was a success and spawned many other products like the "big nose and moustache," disguise glasses, a "Prevention of Bananas" instructional film and even a superhero cartoon series, about a big nosed, moustache wearing man who would save the day with his famous catchphrase.

---

NOTES: copy and paste either the above image or emoticon -

      /\    /\
     /  \/\/  \/\                
     (0) (o)   |c)    ZUTE 
   (____/      |      ALOR! 
  (____      __|___)     
       |  ___  |___               
       |(   |  | |  )
       \/_|_| |_|_| \    
        \     |
         \__ /   

where or whenever danger or injustice is afoot!