Star

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“Hey, I got my own article with a banana on top!”

~ Patrick Star
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A star is a very large very bright object seen in the night sky, such as the moon or anti-aircraft fire. Stars are used for astronomy by scientists and astrology by Wiccans, hippies and other New Age freaks.

Types of Star[edit]

The great astronomer, Professor Samuel L. Jackson of the University of Whoopass identified g principal types of stars.

  • Good Stars: These stars contain vast amounts of hydrogen, thus causing their commitment to moral rectitude.
  • Evil Stars: Alas, these stars contain high levels of helium and tungsten, causing them to forever turn their metaphorical backs upon the Lord
  • Morally Neutral Stars: These don't actually exist. No gray areas, BITCH!
  • Super Stars: Used by Super Mario to um .... be super.
  • Battle Stars: Enemies of the terrible Cylons
  • Prettiest Star: A song by David Bowie which appears on the album Aladin Sane
  • The Radio Star: Brutally killed by Video in 1981. Video was araigned in Los Angeles District court, Feb 8th 1982. Plead guilty and received a twenty year sentence. Parole appeal denied in 1994. Released 2001. currently resides with common law wife in Deer Scrotum, Missouri.
  • Unlucky Star: Stars of this type are typically small, hot, green to blue in colour, and often spend hours trying to chat up a girl, only to discover that their flies are open and they have something stuck between their teeth.

What Can We Do To Get Rid of Stars[edit]

Write to your congressperson or member of parliament, demanding an immediate and unfeasibly large increase to the stellar erradication budget.