“Hey, I got my own article with a banana on top!”
A star is a very large very bright object seen in the night sky, such as the moon or anti-aircraft fire. Stars are used for astronomy by scientists and astrology by Wiccans, hippies and other New Age freaks.
Types of Star
- Good Stars: These stars contain vast amounts of hydrogen, thus causing their commitment to moral rectitude.
- Evil Stars: Alas, these stars contain high levels of helium and tungsten, causing them to forever turn their metaphorical backs upon the Lord
- Morally Neutral Stars: These don't actually exist. No gray areas, BITCH!
- Super Stars: Used by Super Mario to um .... be super.
- Battle Stars: Enemies of the terrible Cylons
- Prettiest Star: A song by David Bowie which appears on the album Aladin Sane
- The Radio Star: Brutally killed by Video in 1981. Video was araigned in Los Angeles District court, Feb 8th 1982. Plead guilty and received a twenty year sentence. Parole appeal denied in 1994. Released 2001. currently resides with common law wife in Deer Scrotum, Missouri.
- Unlucky Star: Stars of this type are typically small, hot, green to blue in colour, and often spend hours trying to chat up a girl, only to discover that their flies are open and they have something stuck between their teeth.
What Can We Do To Get Rid of Stars
Write to your congressperson or member of parliament, demanding an immediate and unfeasibly large increase to the stellar erradication budget.