Arnold

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Arnold is the name of a man who only exists every other day. His last name is Shwartz, of course. He lives in an apartment in New York City, and every other day, he vanishes. And I don't just mean that he turns invisible. I mean that he no longer exists. Everybody who ever knew him forgets who he was. His apartment becomes empty and all of his possessions disappear. The small shoe store he runs vanishes and is replaced by a parking garage.

But then, midnight strikes, and he reappears. His apartment fills up with stuff again. His shoe store reappears as well. His friends and family suddenly remember him. "It's annoying," he says, when asked what it's like to disappear every other day, "Especially if I'm in the middle of doing something, like eating a snack or using the toilet, when I vanish. It's kind of inconvenient, you know? I--"

At this point, midnight struck, and he disappeared. I was left holding a microphone and trying to remember why I had one. I concluded that the microphone was actually a strangely shaped cucumber, and proceeded to swallow it, which made some strange sounds come out of an amplifier on Tuesday.

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